Remember those appeals you see on television about how you can feed a child somewhere for two pennies a day or something? I don’t exactly remember the details because I always mute them but this is a case that’s even more important than those commercials.
You see, Judy Wright participated in the ‘True Blood’ survey and apparently she answered all the questions right. To do this, she bought the DVD of the series and listened to every commentary track. She did this all in under a week. Impressive? You bet.
She even gave this survey her home address and email address (which she never does). So she’s watched the shows, listened to the commentaries and answered the surveys, even handed over information that could lead to someone tracking her down in her home or subjecting her to an influx of spam. She feels like she’s done the work and she deserves the reward. The reward in this case? A 42 inch plasma television.
She asked that I check her emails for her to see if she had won because she was unable to get up the stairs to see the computer herself. She was so confident that she’d won, you should’ve heard her confident voice…and then her disappointment when none of the 51 emails she’d gotten were from this survey.
She requested I look through the emails again, because surely I’d missed something. She said to look for a subject heading like ‘You’ve won’ or ‘You worked so hard, you get a plasma TV’ but even after looking again, there was no email to be found.
Judy Wright was heartbroken. She was like a little lamb who got its heart broken…except Judy is a person and not a lamb.
So if this story touches your heart, do something about it. Send emails to HBO, your elected officials and of course, Neil Diamond. Let’s remember what it was like when we cared about each other and help Judy Wright get her plasma television. Let’s not let the time she spent listening to DVD commentary be in vain. I know I won’t. How ’bout you?
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Celebrity Edition: From Twitter to Music to Shia
I don’t get Twitter. I mean, I just don’t understand it. And this makes me feel old. On the other hand, it seems like a lot of people Tweeting are old. So I’m not sure what that makes me. I’ve looks through different celebrity Tweets and most are fairly inconsequential.
At the end of ‘Pardon the Interruption,’ Tony Kornheiser mentions the PTI Twitter feed, so I looked it up. At 10:29am on 5-27, “On that note, my son doesn't call me anymore. I haven't spoken to him since Friday. I wonder if he's mad at me.” And then I felt sad.
The ‘PTI’ Twitter page follows Steve Nash, Shaquille O’Neal, Barry Zito, Dan LeBatard, Tony Reali, Richard Justice, Ernie Johnson, Jr, Peter King, Roger Goodell, Andy Roddick, and Mark Cuban.
So I looked at their Twitter pages.
Barry Zito opined, “Twitter gives a chance for all the small minded, insignificant, shit talkers to feel significant for 2 seconds.”
And I guess I kind of agree with that, except not the way he probably meant it. It gives celebrities, including athletes like him, a chance to reach an audience without benefit of the media. So it’s unfiltered access but it also robs those like Zito from blaming the media for reporting out of context. (Though what kind of context can 140 characters provide?)
Celebrities and athletes (and politicians, which I’ll get to in a moment) that use Twitter, appear to me to be so incredibly self-indulgent that they think their every thought is worth sharing.
The Real Shaq
Shaq posts a lot and he says things like, “Who wants to here jeff van gundy talk about his brother all da night, I dnt, were is bill walton at, naa, john barry.” I don’t exactly know what half that indecipherable mess means but he sounds annoyed.
He posted the following three times (so it must be important), “They said on around the horn that I'm playing when I say I want kobe to win his 4th ring, here it goes again I'm serious I want kobe to win.” He then added, “O yea bill plasckey, and woody paige dnt have me come put my hands on yall,lol.”
O’Neal posts under the name The Real Shaq. I guess that’s opposed to The Fake Shaq. A lot of celebrities post as ‘The Real (blank)’ but is that really the equivalent to a seal of authenticity?
When Tweets Are Fake
Tony LaRussa sued Twitter because someone was posting as him. One Tweet stated, “Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher.” LaRussa had pleaded guilty a couple years earlier to a DUI charge and two Cardinal pitchers died while he was their manager, Josh Hancock in 2007 (drunk driving accident) and Darryl Kile in 2002 (heart condition).
The LaRussa Twitter page (which has since been removed) had a line on it stating, “Bio Parodies are fun for everyone.” I’ve never been clear on when parody becomes libel. Imagine if a reporter were to print: Tony LaRussa said, “Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher.” That reporter would be in serious trouble. Yet, a person can pose as LaRussa and hide behind the defense of parody.
McCain: Sports Talk Radio
Remember when Tom Glavine was released by the Atlanta Braves and it surprised a lot of people? Well, it didn’t sit too well with Senator John McCain (R-AZ). He wrote, “Braves release Tom Glavine - not a great way to treat a class athlete.” I’m not sure why he was commenting on the roster move. He followed it up with, “Dr. Kissinger’s op-ed in the Washington Post on Pyongyang is a must read!”
I'd Rather Be a Hammer Than Nail
I’m not sure if I were the Chief of Staff for a politician, I’d want my boss to have access to Twitter. Because they’re liable to come out with something like Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA) came out with: “Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us 'time to deliver' on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.” Still angry, he fired off another: “Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said 'time to delivr on healthcare' When you are a 'hammer' u think evrything is NAIL I'm no NAIL.”
Several things are important about these Tweets. First, constituents need to know whether their Senator is a nail and clearly, Grassley is no nail. He said so. Clearly. Second, President Obama was in France for the anniversary of D-Day and it seems to me that Grassley would be one of those complaining had he snubbed the ceremony. Being that he went, Grassley derides Obama for ‘sightseeing in Paris.’
Is This For Real?
Other politicical figures have Twitter pages, such as Al Gore and Barack Obama but they’re like mini-press releases. It’s pretty obvious that they have ghost writers. And if they have ghost writers, how many celebrities also have ghost writers?
I’m pretty sure that Kirstie Alley doesn’t. She produces an average of 32 tweets per day. Factoring in eight hours of sleep, that’s a tweet every 30 minutes. And she puts out some classic information like, “THIS MONKEY GIRL IS GONNA EAT LUNCH..Cooked my this monkey girl...I am going to have monkey chow...later monkey potaters...”
I don’t think a ghost writer would come up with that one. Nor do I think a staffer posed as Courtney Love to produce the following gems: “but its good to be friend with thenew ceo of myspace tho im sort of90th life and 10% computer its nit life face it,gnomey evil queens yawn” and “but you have to surround yourself in positivity, seriously ,stealing inst cool and to take my ideas and allow them propagate using them..”
In other Twitter news, Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple) complained that his iPod broke.
Celebrities enrich our lives by letting us know, as Lisa Loeb did, that she’s “Going to tarina tarantino store to pick up some sparkly jewelry” (though most of her posts involve what she ate) or that Pete Yorn thinks “niagara falls is pretty cool.”
You see, we wouldn’t’ve known that Niagara Falls was pretty cool if not for Mr. Yorn.
Twittering Under the Table & Dreaming
Dave Matthews likes to share his political opinions, like “No news is good news. But there's always news. Taliban is back. Bigger than ever. I like to thank Dick and W for a job well done.”
First, “No news is good news. But there’s always news.” Uh…that line hurt my head. As for the second part, I’m not sure how the Taliban can be bigger than ever when they used to control the majority of a country and now they don’t. Obviously the conflict over there was mishandled but ‘bigger than ever’?
In other world news, Matthews notes, “Let's see if Sri Lanka will end combat operations. What a nightmare. If y'all don't know what's happening in Sri Lanka look it up.” Of course, while you’re looking that up, Dave wants you to know that “Every year 2.2 million people die from diarrhea caused most often by ingesting fecal matter in food or water.”
There is a self-deprecating side of Matthews, “I have anxiety when I have to fill out forms. Always have. I am incredibly stupid. A bad speller. Now and then I surprise myself.”
Yoko Thoughts
Yoko Ono has a Twitter page. She mainly writes things that I think she wishes would appear on bumper stickers.
Just to go over a few:
“If one billion people in the world would Think PEACE - we're gonna get it.”
“Thoughts are infectious. Send it out. It's Time for Action. The Action is PEACE.”
“Don't focus your attention on the War industry people. They will join us in the end. It's an easier life not to get maimed or killed.”
“Stay with it & life becomes like a lover you have been close to for many years. U know them so well, yet every day they give you a surprise.”
“Don't ever give up on life. Life can be so beautiful, especially after you've spent a lot of time with it.”
“Imagine one thousand suns in the sky at the same time. Let them shine for one hour. Then, let them gradually melt into the sky.”
“Imagine letting a goldfish swim across the sky. Let it swim from the East to the West. Drink a liter of water.”
“Make one tunafish sandwich and eat.”
He Is, He Said
Perhaps the only person who deserves a Twitter page is Neil Diamond. Most of his tweets are apparently answering people’s questions that they must’ve sent to him via tweet. And these ‘conversations’ take place right around midnight. Besides frozen lemonade, I can’t think of anything better than conversing with Neil Diamond after midnight.
He seeks advice from his followers, “My friends, Dan and Mariko are getting engaged in N.Y.C. Today! Any words of advice for them?” Informs them of his plans, “Going in to see "The Soloist" right now. I hear it's great. Next I'll see Adam Sandler's new movie "Funny People". I'm a big fan of his.” And updates them on his career, “Wow, I signed with Columbia Records for another five years. By the time this contract is over that'll make 43 years with the same label.”
These are important things. If he would only do more instructing his followers on how to live their lives, then it’d be a perfect site.
Is it just me or does Shia LeBeouf seem to be begging for someone to help him? In Parade, he said, “[Actors are] all in pain. It’s a profession of bottom-feeders and heartbroken people. Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew it, I’d fill it and I’d be on my way.”
He also admitted to being an alcoholic and “My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked – just weird hippie stuff, twisted R-rated humor.”
He had previously stated “Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother... If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds.”
Actually, that’s right in line with Hallmark’s newest series of Mother’s Day Cards, “You’re such a great mother, I’d fuck if you hadn’t given birth to me.”
And what was she doing when she was walking around naked? She was “playing naked connect the dots… and humming for prolonged periods of time.” Personally, nude Boggle can’t be beat. Reading Goofus and Gallant topless is also quite a thrill.
She’s a Man, Baby (or It's Time to Man-Up)
Chastity Bono, a decade after coming out as a lesbian, is now becoming a man. Reportedly, she’s going to have gender reassignment surgery and everything. The process of ‘transitioning’ began around her 40th birthday in March. My birthday’s coming up but I’m not considering switching to play for the other team.
Bizarre story of the week
Okay, there’s this kid who knows a bunch of stuff about planes and his parents are convinced that he’s a reincarnated pilot. They even introduced him to the sister of the pilot that died. It’s a crazy story. The kid’s older now and doesn’t remember all the stuff he said when he was younger but his parents still trot him around as a reincarnated pilot. You kinda gotta feel sorry for the kid.
But check the story out because it’s weird.
Final Thoughts
Because of the focus on celebrity, I never got around to my obsession with the iPhone. I need to remember to go over that in the next post, which will hopefully be shorter.
I learned that not only does my girlfriend believe in ghosts but that she believes Donald Trump’s hair is a normal/natural occurrence. She swears that it’s not a comb-over while I believe (whatever it is) it’s a feat of modern engineering.
At the end of ‘Pardon the Interruption,’ Tony Kornheiser mentions the PTI Twitter feed, so I looked it up. At 10:29am on 5-27, “On that note, my son doesn't call me anymore. I haven't spoken to him since Friday. I wonder if he's mad at me.” And then I felt sad.
The ‘PTI’ Twitter page follows Steve Nash, Shaquille O’Neal, Barry Zito, Dan LeBatard, Tony Reali, Richard Justice, Ernie Johnson, Jr, Peter King, Roger Goodell, Andy Roddick, and Mark Cuban.
So I looked at their Twitter pages.
Barry Zito opined, “Twitter gives a chance for all the small minded, insignificant, shit talkers to feel significant for 2 seconds.”
And I guess I kind of agree with that, except not the way he probably meant it. It gives celebrities, including athletes like him, a chance to reach an audience without benefit of the media. So it’s unfiltered access but it also robs those like Zito from blaming the media for reporting out of context. (Though what kind of context can 140 characters provide?)
Celebrities and athletes (and politicians, which I’ll get to in a moment) that use Twitter, appear to me to be so incredibly self-indulgent that they think their every thought is worth sharing.
The Real Shaq
Shaq posts a lot and he says things like, “Who wants to here jeff van gundy talk about his brother all da night, I dnt, were is bill walton at, naa, john barry.” I don’t exactly know what half that indecipherable mess means but he sounds annoyed.
He posted the following three times (so it must be important), “They said on around the horn that I'm playing when I say I want kobe to win his 4th ring, here it goes again I'm serious I want kobe to win.” He then added, “O yea bill plasckey, and woody paige dnt have me come put my hands on yall,lol.”
O’Neal posts under the name The Real Shaq. I guess that’s opposed to The Fake Shaq. A lot of celebrities post as ‘The Real (blank)’ but is that really the equivalent to a seal of authenticity?
When Tweets Are Fake
Tony LaRussa sued Twitter because someone was posting as him. One Tweet stated, “Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher.” LaRussa had pleaded guilty a couple years earlier to a DUI charge and two Cardinal pitchers died while he was their manager, Josh Hancock in 2007 (drunk driving accident) and Darryl Kile in 2002 (heart condition).
The LaRussa Twitter page (which has since been removed) had a line on it stating, “Bio Parodies are fun for everyone.” I’ve never been clear on when parody becomes libel. Imagine if a reporter were to print: Tony LaRussa said, “Lost 2 out of 3, but we made it out of Chicago without one drunk driving incident or dead pitcher.” That reporter would be in serious trouble. Yet, a person can pose as LaRussa and hide behind the defense of parody.
McCain: Sports Talk Radio
Remember when Tom Glavine was released by the Atlanta Braves and it surprised a lot of people? Well, it didn’t sit too well with Senator John McCain (R-AZ). He wrote, “Braves release Tom Glavine - not a great way to treat a class athlete.” I’m not sure why he was commenting on the roster move. He followed it up with, “Dr. Kissinger’s op-ed in the Washington Post on Pyongyang is a must read!”
I'd Rather Be a Hammer Than Nail
I’m not sure if I were the Chief of Staff for a politician, I’d want my boss to have access to Twitter. Because they’re liable to come out with something like Senator Charles Grassley (R-IA) came out with: “Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us 'time to deliver' on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND.” Still angry, he fired off another: “Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said 'time to delivr on healthcare' When you are a 'hammer' u think evrything is NAIL I'm no NAIL.”
Several things are important about these Tweets. First, constituents need to know whether their Senator is a nail and clearly, Grassley is no nail. He said so. Clearly. Second, President Obama was in France for the anniversary of D-Day and it seems to me that Grassley would be one of those complaining had he snubbed the ceremony. Being that he went, Grassley derides Obama for ‘sightseeing in Paris.’
Is This For Real?
Other politicical figures have Twitter pages, such as Al Gore and Barack Obama but they’re like mini-press releases. It’s pretty obvious that they have ghost writers. And if they have ghost writers, how many celebrities also have ghost writers?
I’m pretty sure that Kirstie Alley doesn’t. She produces an average of 32 tweets per day. Factoring in eight hours of sleep, that’s a tweet every 30 minutes. And she puts out some classic information like, “THIS MONKEY GIRL IS GONNA EAT LUNCH..Cooked my this monkey girl...I am going to have monkey chow...later monkey potaters...”
I don’t think a ghost writer would come up with that one. Nor do I think a staffer posed as Courtney Love to produce the following gems: “but its good to be friend with thenew ceo of myspace tho im sort of90th life and 10% computer its nit life face it,gnomey evil queens yawn” and “but you have to surround yourself in positivity, seriously ,stealing inst cool and to take my ideas and allow them propagate using them..”
In other Twitter news, Steve Wozniak (co-founder of Apple) complained that his iPod broke.
Celebrities enrich our lives by letting us know, as Lisa Loeb did, that she’s “Going to tarina tarantino store to pick up some sparkly jewelry” (though most of her posts involve what she ate) or that Pete Yorn thinks “niagara falls is pretty cool.”
You see, we wouldn’t’ve known that Niagara Falls was pretty cool if not for Mr. Yorn.
Twittering Under the Table & Dreaming
Dave Matthews likes to share his political opinions, like “No news is good news. But there's always news. Taliban is back. Bigger than ever. I like to thank Dick and W for a job well done.”
First, “No news is good news. But there’s always news.” Uh…that line hurt my head. As for the second part, I’m not sure how the Taliban can be bigger than ever when they used to control the majority of a country and now they don’t. Obviously the conflict over there was mishandled but ‘bigger than ever’?
In other world news, Matthews notes, “Let's see if Sri Lanka will end combat operations. What a nightmare. If y'all don't know what's happening in Sri Lanka look it up.” Of course, while you’re looking that up, Dave wants you to know that “Every year 2.2 million people die from diarrhea caused most often by ingesting fecal matter in food or water.”
There is a self-deprecating side of Matthews, “I have anxiety when I have to fill out forms. Always have. I am incredibly stupid. A bad speller. Now and then I surprise myself.”
Yoko Thoughts
Yoko Ono has a Twitter page. She mainly writes things that I think she wishes would appear on bumper stickers.
Just to go over a few:
“If one billion people in the world would Think PEACE - we're gonna get it.”
“Thoughts are infectious. Send it out. It's Time for Action. The Action is PEACE.”
“Don't focus your attention on the War industry people. They will join us in the end. It's an easier life not to get maimed or killed.”
“Stay with it & life becomes like a lover you have been close to for many years. U know them so well, yet every day they give you a surprise.”
“Don't ever give up on life. Life can be so beautiful, especially after you've spent a lot of time with it.”
“Imagine one thousand suns in the sky at the same time. Let them shine for one hour. Then, let them gradually melt into the sky.”
“Imagine letting a goldfish swim across the sky. Let it swim from the East to the West. Drink a liter of water.”
“Make one tunafish sandwich and eat.”
He Is, He Said
Perhaps the only person who deserves a Twitter page is Neil Diamond. Most of his tweets are apparently answering people’s questions that they must’ve sent to him via tweet. And these ‘conversations’ take place right around midnight. Besides frozen lemonade, I can’t think of anything better than conversing with Neil Diamond after midnight.
He seeks advice from his followers, “My friends, Dan and Mariko are getting engaged in N.Y.C. Today! Any words of advice for them?” Informs them of his plans, “Going in to see "The Soloist" right now. I hear it's great. Next I'll see Adam Sandler's new movie "Funny People". I'm a big fan of his.” And updates them on his career, “Wow, I signed with Columbia Records for another five years. By the time this contract is over that'll make 43 years with the same label.”
These are important things. If he would only do more instructing his followers on how to live their lives, then it’d be a perfect site.
Celebrity Music Lists
Brian Williams created BriTunes so that he could identify underground bands for you. Just for you. Don’t you want to go to the site so that you can find out how much hard work he’s put in for you?
I like Brian Williams and I like the concept behind it. Underground artists need all the help they can get and the Internet is a great way for them to get exposure.
While looking through the Web, I found that several celebrities have created iTunes playlists and I wanted to find out how many of them support ‘my people.’ Most of these playlists were put together by celebrities that were also plugging something and some lists seem to have been given more thought than others.
For instance, Frank Black of the Pixies apparently listens to nothing but Burl Ives. On the other hand, celebrities such as Mandy Moore, create lists and explain why each song was chosen. Incidentally, her list was filled with ‘my people’ like The National, Blitzen Trapper and Ryan Adams (her husband), as wells as ‘Second Hand News,’ an entirely underrated Fleetwood Mac song.
My mom is a fan of ‘True Blood’ and they have their own playlist and it’s respectable. Anna Paquin lists Radiohead, Pixies and Led Zeppelin while Stephen Moyer has Bob Dylan’s ‘You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go,’ along with Stephen Malkmus and Tom Waits.
William Shatner lists a bunch of his own songs along with Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself,’ Ben Folds and 40s era jazz.
Paul Rudd seems like a really cool guy but his playlist is just okay. He does list Glen Campbell’s ‘Witchita Lineman’ which is great but I was kinda hoping for a stronger list.
Greg Mottola, director of ‘Superbad’ had the following artists on list: The Replacements, Big Star, Dinosaur Jr, and The The.
But the award for best playlist goes to…Rainn Wilson, who plays Dwight on ‘The Office.’ And the reason why is simple. His introduction to the list is: “I wanted to share a bunch of recent-ish music to turn folks on to what rocks and what moves me down to my swimsuit area. There’s a bunch of great new bands and artists out there, none of whom have ever been anywhere near ‘American Idol’ or ‘TRL’ or a ‘High School Musical.’ In the need to expose some newer and lesser-known artists I had to leave some of my all-time favorites like Wilco and Radiohead behind.”
He, in my view, got the point of what’s so great about the Internet. You don’t need a lot of money to get your music out there anymore. Local bands in another city can be downloaded with a click of a mouse regardless of whether you live in NYC or Tulsa.
Wilson’s list is filled with great finds from The National to Glen Hansard to Ryan Adams. Wilson also has a thoughtfully written commentary for each song as well. It’s definitely worth a look.
When I first discovered these playlists, I ran through a bunch of them real late at night but I don’t feel like doing that again. But if you’re up late and are bored, it’s something to check out.
Is it just me or does Shia LeBeouf seem to be begging for someone to help him? In Parade, he said, “[Actors are] all in pain. It’s a profession of bottom-feeders and heartbroken people. Most actors on most days don’t think they’re worthy. I have no idea where this insecurity comes from, but it’s a God-sized hole. If I knew it, I’d fill it and I’d be on my way.”
He also admitted to being an alcoholic and “My humor came from seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked – just weird hippie stuff, twisted R-rated humor.”
He had previously stated “Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother... If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren't my mother, as sick as that sounds.”
Actually, that’s right in line with Hallmark’s newest series of Mother’s Day Cards, “You’re such a great mother, I’d fuck if you hadn’t given birth to me.”
And what was she doing when she was walking around naked? She was “playing naked connect the dots… and humming for prolonged periods of time.” Personally, nude Boggle can’t be beat. Reading Goofus and Gallant topless is also quite a thrill.
She’s a Man, Baby (or It's Time to Man-Up)
Chastity Bono, a decade after coming out as a lesbian, is now becoming a man. Reportedly, she’s going to have gender reassignment surgery and everything. The process of ‘transitioning’ began around her 40th birthday in March. My birthday’s coming up but I’m not considering switching to play for the other team.
Bizarre story of the week
Okay, there’s this kid who knows a bunch of stuff about planes and his parents are convinced that he’s a reincarnated pilot. They even introduced him to the sister of the pilot that died. It’s a crazy story. The kid’s older now and doesn’t remember all the stuff he said when he was younger but his parents still trot him around as a reincarnated pilot. You kinda gotta feel sorry for the kid.
But check the story out because it’s weird.
Final Thoughts
Because of the focus on celebrity, I never got around to my obsession with the iPhone. I need to remember to go over that in the next post, which will hopefully be shorter.
I learned that not only does my girlfriend believe in ghosts but that she believes Donald Trump’s hair is a normal/natural occurrence. She swears that it’s not a comb-over while I believe (whatever it is) it’s a feat of modern engineering.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Top 20 Movies of 2008: Part 2: The Best Movies
And now we start the Top 20 Best movies with review so short and incomplete that you will absolutely learn nothing. So let’s start the non-learning with…
20. ‘Smart People’
If you’re looking for a deeply plotted movie, this isn’t it. But the individual performances are strong and only a Communist can hate Ellen Page and Dennis Quaid.
19. ‘Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist’
Here’s a story I like to tell a lot. I had gone to a bunch of concerts in my life and I always felt out of place…until I went to see the Shins at the Atlanta Civic Center. The audience was full of people just like me. I realized that the Shins were ‘My People’s Music.’ This movie features a lot of other bands that represent ‘My People,’ including one, Bishop Allen, that gets a cameo appearance.
Am I placing this in my top 20 because of that? Largely…yes. But it’s my list and I can do whatever I want.
Okay, it has a sweet feel throughout with two likable leads and half of everything Michael Cera says is funny. But really, it’s all about the music.
18. ‘Be Kind Rewind’
This movie was designed to not work. I find Mos Def to be annoying most of the time. With the exception of a couple movies, Jack Black is way too over the top. And the plot involves two guys remaking movies and (according to the commercial) passing them off as the real thing.
The only reason I watched this movie is because it was directed by Michael Gondry, director of ‘The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.’
Mos Def’s performance is endearing and Jack Black, while wild, doesn’t take over the movie. While the end is a bit of a letdown with the whole ‘the small store versus the big store’ theme, it’s a fun little movie that provides solid laughs.
17. ‘Religulous’
If indeed there is a hell, Bill Maher is going there after making this movie. But at least he made a funny movie before he went there.
Maher (with the exception of the soliloquy at the end) comes at this as an agnostic (though just a couple degrees from being an atheist), he’s not certain what’s true and seems to hold those with absolute certainty in contempt. And it’s a contempt that’s basically spread around toward all religions.
This movie is not for the easily offended but if you’re going to be offensive, at least be funny, which he does more times than not in this film.
16. ‘Changeling’
I’m not sure how a boy could be kidnapped and the police could try to force a mother to take an imposter child as if he were her son. If this weren’t a true story, the plot would be too far-fetched to even be made into a movie. After checking the movie against the newspaper articles, the movie stays pretty close to the truth.
Clint Eastwood’s direction is solid and he really builds suspense throughout the movie.
The only complaint I have is with Angelina Jolie. I was never able to get past who she is. She was so pale and her lips were so red…she was like a pair of lips in a hat. And I realize that sounds stupid but I struggled with her because of that. Even so, it didn’t sink the movie.
15. ‘There Will Be Blood’
This is a movie that came out in New York and Los Angeles in 2007 but didn’t come out nationwide until 2008 and it feels like forever since I saw this. I hesitated watching this because it’s title was a tag line for the second ‘Saw’ movie and it’s almost three hours long.
The story of an oilman trying to get a plot of land from a group that’s led by a teenage preacher is compelling. While I didn’t like the ending and SportsCenter killed the ‘I drink your milkshake’ line to death, the acting was solid and it didn’t feel like it was as long as it was.
14. ‘The Pineapple Express’
This is the movie to watch if you think James Franco laughing is funny. While it’s easy to label this is a ‘pot humor movie,’ it’s a couple bars higher than that, certainly better than anything Cheech & Chong ever put out. You don’t have to be high to watch it, though I imagine it would help.
And it has Seth Rogen. You like Seth Rogen, don’t you?
13. ‘Role Models’
This is a movie that wishes it was made by Judd Apatow. It feels largely like an Apatow production except I don’t think an Apatow movie would’ve devolved into a D&D type fantasy world. But still, Paul Rudd is excellent as always and the movie is truly funny for the first half (almost two-thirds).
12. ‘Chaos Theory’
I had never liked Ryan Reynolds in anything until 2008, when he had two really good movies that he completely carried. In this movie, he plays an anal professional speaker that due to a joke, ends up having his life completely screwed up. It was portrayed in the commercial as an almost wacky comedy. In truth, it’s a quiet film with a few laughs but it’s more about the nature of love, forgiveness and the fragile nature of relationships.
11. ‘Ghost Town’
Ricky Gervais didn’t write ‘Ghost Town.’ Instead, it was written by the guy that did the screenplays for ‘Angels and Demons,’ ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,’ ‘War of the Worlds,’ ‘Snake Eyes,’ ‘Stir of Echoes’ and ‘Death Becomes Her.’ Have I scared you away from this movie yet?
Ricky Gervais is the star of ‘Ghost Town’ and he is the reason to watch this movie. His heartfelt performance and genuinely funny presence carries this movie, as does the solid acting of Greg Kinnear. Tea Leoni is in this and is as adorable as she’s ever been.
This is a charming movie that gets some truly big laughs…even if it was done by the same guy who had a hand in saving Indiana Jones’ life during a nuclear blast by sticking him in a fridge.
10. ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’
I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan. I recognize his limitations but that doesn’t keep me from enjoying his movies any less. ‘Zack and Miri’ isn’t a perfect movie but it made me laugh when I saw it in the theater and it made me laugh when I watched it at home. Seth Rogen is great and some of the dialogue is really sharp and funny.
One major issue: Smith never seems sure how to end his movies. And this film falls victim to that as well. It ties up far too neatly and, like ‘Clerks II,’ in a slightly groan inducing way. But the movie has built up enough good will, that it’s easy to forgive the handful of missteps.
9. ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’
I liked this movie a lot more when I walked out of the theater than I do right now. If I’d made this list right after leaving the mall, having just wiped a couple tears from my eyes, I would’ve put this at #4.
But then I started thinking about this movie and that’s not something that benefits a film like this. It’s essentially a fable but I’m not sure what its message is. Brad Pitt plays a guy aging backwards. He’s a lot like Forrest Gump, not in being retarded but in being basically an innocent character without fault who finds himself in situations bigger than himself.
The individual performances are strong but what’s important about this movie are the special effects. Not only does Pitt appear old, we’ve seen that before, but he is small. And not like that Wayan’s movie ‘Little Man.’ The amazing thing about the special effects…they don’t seem like effects. They are seamlessly intertwined into the movie.
If you see this movie, you’ll walk away liking it but I bet if you think about it too much, you’ll like it less…So don’t think about it too much.
8. ‘Tropic Thunder’
This is about a group of actors that go into a jungle to make a war movie and end up in the middle of a real armed conflict…though some of the actors aren’t sure if it isn’t just part of the filming.
While it’s not as funny as it could’ve been, and it drags through parts of it, the movie is worth watching to see Robert Downey, Jr play an Australian actor who has undergone an operation to become black to play a role in a movie. He’s absolutely brilliant and virtually everything he says or does is funny.
7. ‘Doubt’
This is a very simple movie about a complex topic. You want to guess what the topic is? It’s about doubt, which is probably why it’s called, uh, ‘Doubt.’ The film is driven by three standout performances, Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams.
The best thing about this movie is that for much of it, you don’t really know what the truth is. Is Hoffman’s character guilty of what he’s being accused of? Adams’ character is sure that he is…until she’s sure that he’s not but really, she doesn’t know and neither do we.
The final line damages the movie tremendously and unravels its point a little, which I took to mean that doubt isn’t as dangerous as certainty. But it’s a quiet movie with great acting and definitely worth seeing.
6. ‘Definitely, Maybe’
Ryan Reynolds makes his second appearance on this list turning a completely charming performance as a father who tells his daughter the story of how he and her mother (and his soon-to-be ex-wife) met. The story is told in flashback and in a way that conceals which of three possible women could be the little girl’s mother.
When saw the commercial, I really didn’t think this was a movie worth seeing but I gave it a chance and I found myself interested in the plot and it was truly funny and engaging. This is the best true romantic comedy to come out in several years.
5. ‘Wall•E’
The first 40 minutes of ‘Wall•E’ is silent, surprising since it’s a cartoon that appears aimed at kids. But you know, I don’t think that it is aimed at kids at all. This is a thoughtful movie about wanting what you can’t have and a future that fits into the vision of Stanley Kubrick. It works as a light comedy, a cartoon and a science fiction movie. It also happens to be positively beautiful in the way it was shot. It’s an absolute must see movie.
4. ‘Get Smart’
This is another movie that I dismissed after seeing the commercial. I liked the original series okay but I hate remakes of old television shows so I wasn’t going to watch. But I had a couple hours to kill and I decided to go see a movie and the only thing that was playing that would get out in time for me to get to work was ‘Get Smart.’
And it was completely hilarious. After leaving, I called my mom to let her know about how good it was and I ended up watching it with her the next day. I’ve seen it several times since and I got it as a Christmas present to my girlfriend, who also liked it.
From beginning to end, it’s filled with funny gags, and if by chance you didn’t like the last one, if you wait a minute, there’ll be another one on the way. There’s a great cameo by a famous SNL alum that’s surprising and funny.
The film also has a good heart and that’s one of the things that really makes this movie work. Also, Anne Hathaway is really solid in this. She’s funny and you completely buy her in the fight scenes.
But the reason to watch this is because it’s funny. So watch it.
3. ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’
My brother and I saw this down in Savannah, which is mentioned briefly in a previous post. It’s a funny movie, as you’d expect out of the Apatow pen of films (except for ‘Drillbit Taylor). Billy kept laughing in the theater and he doesn’t usually laugh out loud in a movie, so that should be reason enough for you to see this.
Also, Mila Kunis is in this and she’s actually really good.
2. ‘Iron Man’
Robert Downey Jr was great in ‘Tropic Thunder’ but he was even better in this. His performance embodied cool and the dialogue is so natural that he almost appears to be ad-libbing it. The effects are great and it’s also funny.
If you want to see stuff getting blown up, gadgets being invented and you want to laugh, then this is the perfect movie.
1. ‘The Dark Knight’
And if you don’t want to laugh but you do want to see a brooding superhero film, then this is the perfect movie.
‘The Dark Knight’ is simply the best superhero movie ever. The acting is strong, the plot is tight and it’s completely dark. It’s basically modern film noir that happens to have a superhero in it.
Heath Ledger is the Joker, portraying him as a true sociopath, as opposed to the maniacal clown other actors playing the character have done. Ledger delivers the performance of his life and is worth watching, even if you don’t typically enjoy the superhero genre.
Next Post
I'll run through a few of the movies that were left off the list and try to explain why. I’ll also discuss my thoughts on Twitter and my iPhone obsession.
20. ‘Smart People’
If you’re looking for a deeply plotted movie, this isn’t it. But the individual performances are strong and only a Communist can hate Ellen Page and Dennis Quaid.
19. ‘Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist’
Here’s a story I like to tell a lot. I had gone to a bunch of concerts in my life and I always felt out of place…until I went to see the Shins at the Atlanta Civic Center. The audience was full of people just like me. I realized that the Shins were ‘My People’s Music.’ This movie features a lot of other bands that represent ‘My People,’ including one, Bishop Allen, that gets a cameo appearance.
Am I placing this in my top 20 because of that? Largely…yes. But it’s my list and I can do whatever I want.
Okay, it has a sweet feel throughout with two likable leads and half of everything Michael Cera says is funny. But really, it’s all about the music.
18. ‘Be Kind Rewind’
This movie was designed to not work. I find Mos Def to be annoying most of the time. With the exception of a couple movies, Jack Black is way too over the top. And the plot involves two guys remaking movies and (according to the commercial) passing them off as the real thing.
The only reason I watched this movie is because it was directed by Michael Gondry, director of ‘The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.’
Mos Def’s performance is endearing and Jack Black, while wild, doesn’t take over the movie. While the end is a bit of a letdown with the whole ‘the small store versus the big store’ theme, it’s a fun little movie that provides solid laughs.
17. ‘Religulous’
If indeed there is a hell, Bill Maher is going there after making this movie. But at least he made a funny movie before he went there.
Maher (with the exception of the soliloquy at the end) comes at this as an agnostic (though just a couple degrees from being an atheist), he’s not certain what’s true and seems to hold those with absolute certainty in contempt. And it’s a contempt that’s basically spread around toward all religions.
This movie is not for the easily offended but if you’re going to be offensive, at least be funny, which he does more times than not in this film.
16. ‘Changeling’
I’m not sure how a boy could be kidnapped and the police could try to force a mother to take an imposter child as if he were her son. If this weren’t a true story, the plot would be too far-fetched to even be made into a movie. After checking the movie against the newspaper articles, the movie stays pretty close to the truth.
Clint Eastwood’s direction is solid and he really builds suspense throughout the movie.
The only complaint I have is with Angelina Jolie. I was never able to get past who she is. She was so pale and her lips were so red…she was like a pair of lips in a hat. And I realize that sounds stupid but I struggled with her because of that. Even so, it didn’t sink the movie.
15. ‘There Will Be Blood’
This is a movie that came out in New York and Los Angeles in 2007 but didn’t come out nationwide until 2008 and it feels like forever since I saw this. I hesitated watching this because it’s title was a tag line for the second ‘Saw’ movie and it’s almost three hours long.
The story of an oilman trying to get a plot of land from a group that’s led by a teenage preacher is compelling. While I didn’t like the ending and SportsCenter killed the ‘I drink your milkshake’ line to death, the acting was solid and it didn’t feel like it was as long as it was.
14. ‘The Pineapple Express’
This is the movie to watch if you think James Franco laughing is funny. While it’s easy to label this is a ‘pot humor movie,’ it’s a couple bars higher than that, certainly better than anything Cheech & Chong ever put out. You don’t have to be high to watch it, though I imagine it would help.
And it has Seth Rogen. You like Seth Rogen, don’t you?
13. ‘Role Models’
This is a movie that wishes it was made by Judd Apatow. It feels largely like an Apatow production except I don’t think an Apatow movie would’ve devolved into a D&D type fantasy world. But still, Paul Rudd is excellent as always and the movie is truly funny for the first half (almost two-thirds).
12. ‘Chaos Theory’
I had never liked Ryan Reynolds in anything until 2008, when he had two really good movies that he completely carried. In this movie, he plays an anal professional speaker that due to a joke, ends up having his life completely screwed up. It was portrayed in the commercial as an almost wacky comedy. In truth, it’s a quiet film with a few laughs but it’s more about the nature of love, forgiveness and the fragile nature of relationships.
11. ‘Ghost Town’
Ricky Gervais didn’t write ‘Ghost Town.’ Instead, it was written by the guy that did the screenplays for ‘Angels and Demons,’ ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,’ ‘War of the Worlds,’ ‘Snake Eyes,’ ‘Stir of Echoes’ and ‘Death Becomes Her.’ Have I scared you away from this movie yet?
Ricky Gervais is the star of ‘Ghost Town’ and he is the reason to watch this movie. His heartfelt performance and genuinely funny presence carries this movie, as does the solid acting of Greg Kinnear. Tea Leoni is in this and is as adorable as she’s ever been.
This is a charming movie that gets some truly big laughs…even if it was done by the same guy who had a hand in saving Indiana Jones’ life during a nuclear blast by sticking him in a fridge.
10. ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’
I’m a huge Kevin Smith fan. I recognize his limitations but that doesn’t keep me from enjoying his movies any less. ‘Zack and Miri’ isn’t a perfect movie but it made me laugh when I saw it in the theater and it made me laugh when I watched it at home. Seth Rogen is great and some of the dialogue is really sharp and funny.
One major issue: Smith never seems sure how to end his movies. And this film falls victim to that as well. It ties up far too neatly and, like ‘Clerks II,’ in a slightly groan inducing way. But the movie has built up enough good will, that it’s easy to forgive the handful of missteps.
9. ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’
I liked this movie a lot more when I walked out of the theater than I do right now. If I’d made this list right after leaving the mall, having just wiped a couple tears from my eyes, I would’ve put this at #4.
But then I started thinking about this movie and that’s not something that benefits a film like this. It’s essentially a fable but I’m not sure what its message is. Brad Pitt plays a guy aging backwards. He’s a lot like Forrest Gump, not in being retarded but in being basically an innocent character without fault who finds himself in situations bigger than himself.
The individual performances are strong but what’s important about this movie are the special effects. Not only does Pitt appear old, we’ve seen that before, but he is small. And not like that Wayan’s movie ‘Little Man.’ The amazing thing about the special effects…they don’t seem like effects. They are seamlessly intertwined into the movie.
If you see this movie, you’ll walk away liking it but I bet if you think about it too much, you’ll like it less…So don’t think about it too much.
8. ‘Tropic Thunder’
This is about a group of actors that go into a jungle to make a war movie and end up in the middle of a real armed conflict…though some of the actors aren’t sure if it isn’t just part of the filming.
While it’s not as funny as it could’ve been, and it drags through parts of it, the movie is worth watching to see Robert Downey, Jr play an Australian actor who has undergone an operation to become black to play a role in a movie. He’s absolutely brilliant and virtually everything he says or does is funny.
7. ‘Doubt’
This is a very simple movie about a complex topic. You want to guess what the topic is? It’s about doubt, which is probably why it’s called, uh, ‘Doubt.’ The film is driven by three standout performances, Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams.
The best thing about this movie is that for much of it, you don’t really know what the truth is. Is Hoffman’s character guilty of what he’s being accused of? Adams’ character is sure that he is…until she’s sure that he’s not but really, she doesn’t know and neither do we.
The final line damages the movie tremendously and unravels its point a little, which I took to mean that doubt isn’t as dangerous as certainty. But it’s a quiet movie with great acting and definitely worth seeing.
6. ‘Definitely, Maybe’
Ryan Reynolds makes his second appearance on this list turning a completely charming performance as a father who tells his daughter the story of how he and her mother (and his soon-to-be ex-wife) met. The story is told in flashback and in a way that conceals which of three possible women could be the little girl’s mother.
When saw the commercial, I really didn’t think this was a movie worth seeing but I gave it a chance and I found myself interested in the plot and it was truly funny and engaging. This is the best true romantic comedy to come out in several years.
5. ‘Wall•E’
The first 40 minutes of ‘Wall•E’ is silent, surprising since it’s a cartoon that appears aimed at kids. But you know, I don’t think that it is aimed at kids at all. This is a thoughtful movie about wanting what you can’t have and a future that fits into the vision of Stanley Kubrick. It works as a light comedy, a cartoon and a science fiction movie. It also happens to be positively beautiful in the way it was shot. It’s an absolute must see movie.
4. ‘Get Smart’
This is another movie that I dismissed after seeing the commercial. I liked the original series okay but I hate remakes of old television shows so I wasn’t going to watch. But I had a couple hours to kill and I decided to go see a movie and the only thing that was playing that would get out in time for me to get to work was ‘Get Smart.’
And it was completely hilarious. After leaving, I called my mom to let her know about how good it was and I ended up watching it with her the next day. I’ve seen it several times since and I got it as a Christmas present to my girlfriend, who also liked it.
From beginning to end, it’s filled with funny gags, and if by chance you didn’t like the last one, if you wait a minute, there’ll be another one on the way. There’s a great cameo by a famous SNL alum that’s surprising and funny.
The film also has a good heart and that’s one of the things that really makes this movie work. Also, Anne Hathaway is really solid in this. She’s funny and you completely buy her in the fight scenes.
But the reason to watch this is because it’s funny. So watch it.
3. ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’
My brother and I saw this down in Savannah, which is mentioned briefly in a previous post. It’s a funny movie, as you’d expect out of the Apatow pen of films (except for ‘Drillbit Taylor). Billy kept laughing in the theater and he doesn’t usually laugh out loud in a movie, so that should be reason enough for you to see this.
Also, Mila Kunis is in this and she’s actually really good.
2. ‘Iron Man’
Robert Downey Jr was great in ‘Tropic Thunder’ but he was even better in this. His performance embodied cool and the dialogue is so natural that he almost appears to be ad-libbing it. The effects are great and it’s also funny.
If you want to see stuff getting blown up, gadgets being invented and you want to laugh, then this is the perfect movie.
1. ‘The Dark Knight’
And if you don’t want to laugh but you do want to see a brooding superhero film, then this is the perfect movie.
‘The Dark Knight’ is simply the best superhero movie ever. The acting is strong, the plot is tight and it’s completely dark. It’s basically modern film noir that happens to have a superhero in it.
Heath Ledger is the Joker, portraying him as a true sociopath, as opposed to the maniacal clown other actors playing the character have done. Ledger delivers the performance of his life and is worth watching, even if you don’t typically enjoy the superhero genre.
Next Post
I'll run through a few of the movies that were left off the list and try to explain why. I’ll also discuss my thoughts on Twitter and my iPhone obsession.
My Thoughts on Terminator 4
I first mentioned that this movie was being considered back in 5-15-07, when I wrote: “I just read Terminator 4 is in the works and it’s part of a new trilogy. No one has signed on but I foresee a plot where Arnold goes back in time to the 18th century to rewrite the Constitution to allow foreigners to run for president. Part 5 will be about the election and in part 6, Arnold will have to fight off the forces of impeachment.”
I honestly didn’t believe it would really be made…and yet, here it is. I don’t really feel like reviewing it (I gave it a 1.75 out of 4, for what it’s worth). But there is one thing this movie made me wonder…
Why are the machines so mad? What exactly did we do to them to piss them off? Was it the microwave that started this revolution? I mean, it’s gotta suck having popcorn heated up inside you, being able to smell it but not being able to taste it. I could see why the microwave would hate people so much.
I could understand personal computers. The software causes the computer to crash and people blame the computer. It wasn’t the computer. It was the operating system or the software. But who was the target of all the profanity and rage? The little old computer.
But still, is that any reason to try to annihilate the human race? To create robots to go back and kill would-be mothers of would-be leaders?
Ron Howard’s daughter is in this movie, Bryce Dallas Howard. She plays the same character that Claire Danes played in the last one. Bryce mainly stood around touching her belly, I guess so we would know she was pregnant, as if that was supposed to add extra pressure to Christian Bale. I mean, he knocked up Ron Howard’s daughter and if Opie finds out, he’s gonna send Angels and Demons to get that American Psycho (though Bale’s actually from Wales).
Can Bryce act? I don’t know. She wasn’t really called on to do much besides the belly touching, while wearing fashionable maternity clothes while the rest of the world had gone to hell. The few lines she did deliver were flat but then again, most of the performances were flat. At least she isn’t as distracting as Clint Howard. I guess it helps that she isn’t bald.
I’m always distracted when Clint appears in a Ron Howard movie because it takes me out of the film while he’s in there. Not just that, but I spend most of the early part of the movie, waiting for him to show up. That’s why Alfred Hitchcock used to appear in the very beginning, to get the cameo out of the way so people could focus on the movie. Clint should appear at the very beginning too.
On a similar note: Joan Cusack almost always shows up in movies starring her brother John. She tends to play wacky characters but it seems like each movie, she’s a little more unhinged than the one before. Making it worse, his performances are becoming more subdued, which is highlighting how crazy her acting is. It’s getting to the point where he’s looking catatonic and she’s looking like an escaped mental patient.
You can tell how off the wall her performance will be based on her hair. The stranger her hair looks, the stranger her acting will be. It’s just how it works.
I think it might be time to have her pasteurized. No, I don’t mean sent out to pasture. I think she should actually go through the process of pasteurization, you know, just to see what would happen.
And how did a non-review of ‘Terminator 4’ turn into an attack on Joan Cusack?
Because Crazy Movies Are Coming Out
I just found out that they’re going to make ‘Battleship’ into a movie. I came up with a great joke about making Monopoly into a movie…until I found out that they are making that game into a movie. So all my jokes about who would play the thimble and Uncle Pennybags seem less funny now that Ridley Scott is reportedly going to direct a movie version of the popular board game. For what it’s worth, they’re also making Candy Land into a movie as well.
I never really got into Battleship. I really wanted to because it looked cool, you know, with the ships and all but even as a kid, I knew that Battleship is basically Bingo with naval vessels. And Bingo’s just not cool.
One Last Movie Thing
They’re going to re-make ‘The Karate Kid’ and turn ‘The A-Team’ into a movie. Why are movie studios raiding my childhood and churning out crap?
Final Thoughts
I finally went into my girlfriend’s backyard for the first time last weekend. It happened nine months after I first went over to her house. I almost didn’t want to go back there because you have to respect a streak like that.
I was informed by a source, who begged to be unnamed, so I won’t mention her name, but she told me that this sugar free candy she got had a warning that consuming too many of the candy pieces can cause “a laxative effect.” Turns out that sugar free candy in general has that result according to numerous Internet sources.
Another source, who will be unnamed, though I don’t think they requested to be anonymous: There’s a great new show is coming out: Bobo’s Booboos. Or was it Booboo’s Bobos?
Saw a headline on CNN.com: How to avoid the ‘Death Tax.’ Uh, that’s kinda of easy, isn’t it? Alls you gotta do is just not die.
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