What DID McCain Say?

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) got into a heated exchange over the immigration compromise as it was coming together. McCain twice used words that most media outlets don’t repeat but I always find it interesting how they try to explain what word was used without saying it.

The Washington Post said the one word was “associated with chickens.” The other was described as a word Dick Cheney used in an encounter with Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT). I knew the latter was ‘fuck’ since I knew Cheney told Leahy, “Go fuck yourself.”

Quick side note: MSNBC described his use of the word to Leahy this way, “[He advised] Sen. Patrick Leahy to perform an anatomically impossible sex act.” I loved that line.

Anyway, I still couldn’t figure out what curse word would be associated with chickens. Not having grown up on a farm, I couldn’t help but feel I was at a distinct disadvantage in coming up with the answer. You see, when I think chicken, I think bastard. No reason.

Alright, so was it chicken shit? Because I wouldn’t say that that word is associated with chickens. It has chicken in the term. If he had called Cornyn a word associated with a dog, I’d assume he meant a bitch, not a dog fucker.

Was it cock? I thought that would be more associated with roosters but then I couldn’t remember if a chicken and a rooster were the same thing or not. Again, working on a farm would’ve helped here. I know that George Costanza’s dad on Seinfeld said there were chickens and hens and roosters had sex with both of them, so maybe a rooster is a chicken. I don’t know.

Anyway, after a thorough investigation, I found a couple sources not too chicken shit to confirm that McCain’s phrase was in fact chicken shit. So, there that is.

Another Movie I’ll Never See

I heard about this movie called ‘Once’ and it sounded like it would be good but then I heard the two dreaded words, ‘limited release,’ which is basically code for, ‘never coming to Atlanta.’ I checked the local theatres and sure enough, it isn’t to be found. And maybe it’ll come out a few weeks from now but by then, I’ll have already forgotten about it. The world sucks.

Pool Party

My apartment complex (which has experienced two shootings in the last two weeks) threw a pool party on Saturday. The admission price was two cans of soup.

Alright, let me get this straight. They wanted me to pay a fee for entry to something that is usually free. Uh, no.

‘But you’ll get to meet your fellow residents,’ the imaginary manager says.
‘What good is that? So I’ll know who it was that shot me as I’m dying?’ I reply.
‘Oh, those two people didn’t die. They just lost their cars.’
‘I’ve seen three people in the complex that looked like people I wouldn’t maybe mind possibly meeting and one's a Georgia Tech fan, so you know.’
‘But that’s only on one side of the complex. You don’t go on the other side very often.’
‘Right, because of the pit bull problem over there. Why do I even live here?’

Not that any of this matters because I don’t swim. Even so, I couldn’t miss a chance to complain.


One Last Note on NBC’s Schedule

After being left off NBC’s fall lineup, Donald Trump announced, “You can’t fire me, I quit.” I’ve done that before. If NBC was anything like my boss at the time, they probably said something like, “Good, get the fuck out. And take your Windex with you.”

A Series of Pointless Questions OR Post 3: Take 2

How Crazy is the View?

‘The View’ has to be the most annoying show in the world. I was getting my oil changed at Ed Voyles Honda and they had the television tuned to ABC. Montel Williams was going off and ‘The View’ came on next.

To be honest, I can’t totally criticize the show because I only understood a third of what was being said. The rest consisted of the panel talking over each other, even when they were agreeing. It was still a competition to see who could talk louder.

Rosie O’Donnell provided her take on ‘The Sopranos’ from Sunday and I couldn’t tell whether she’s never seen the show before or has a tough time following metaphors as a plot device. Either way, her commentary was absurd.

Then she started talking about vaccinations causing autism and got into a little argument with Barbara Walters, who seemed to be trying to protect the show from lawsuits following the various accusations being thrown out by Rosie. O’Donnell stopped using sentences at one point and resorted to shouting out ‘DES’ repeatedly.

And while this is going on, I had this woman sitting next to me (mind you, she could’ve sat anywhere in the waiting room) and she began singing/humming. This old woman was responding to the points Joy Behar was making as if Behar could hear her. And while all this is going on, Ed Voyles is playing 80s music. I don’t mean music from the 80s. I mean 80s music and believe me, there’s a difference. Music from the 80s can include the Replacements, pre-Warner Bros. REM and Dinosaur Jr. 80s music is Wang Chung, Debbie Gibson and Tommy Tutone. Not the same.

Anyway, by 11:30, my car was done and I was set free.

No Comedy on NBC?

Donald Trump’s ‘The Apprentice’ was left off the roster of shows for next year though there’s still a slim chance it’s brought back. I say, the less Trump, the better.

NBC cancelled ‘Studio 60’, which I tried to watch but nearly died of some boredom related disease. It was dreadful.

They also got rid of ‘Crossing Jordan.’ In other news, I’ve never heard of ‘Crossing Jordan.’

They’re keeping ‘The Office’, ‘Scrubs’ and ’30 Rock’, which is good news, especially concerning ’30 Rock’ since that’s become my favorite comedy on television.

‘Law & Order’ is coming back for its 67th season. Which is great news because if they weren’t on the air, I’d have to rely on those black and white re-enactments on Court TV if I wanted to see the latest tabloid covered crime recreated for the small screen. According to producer Dick Wolf, the “ultimate dream” for the show is to pass ‘Gunsmoke’ in longevity for a primetime drama, which lasted 20 fun filled years.

They’re adding a spinoff of ‘Heroes’ and a remake of ‘The Bionic Woman.’ But what’s made the biggest news about the changes is that there will not be ANY new comedies in the fall lineup. They will have ‘The IT Crowd’ as a midseason replacement, which is apparently a comedy about computer geeks (are we using the term techies now?) who work in a corporation.

Michael Bloomberg for President?

It appears New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg (R) is moving closer to running for president as a third party candidate. This is the kind of race where a third party might do well. Neither party has a clear choice for their nominee, so whoever wins their respective race will come out bruised in the primary. Also, America’s general dissatisfaction with the way things are going (Congress’ approval rating is under 30% and the President is at 33%) suggests that someone completely outside the system might have a chance.

Bloomberg, who is socially liberal and fiscally conservative, would take a huge bite out of the political center of the spectrum. Additionally, he has the money to self-finance his campaign and reportedly is willing to spend up to a billion dollars on a potential run.

Gas Boycott?

Today is May 15th and I had gotten an email to my work account that instructed me to teach the gas companies a lesson by boycotting them and not buying gas today. My tank is half full (or half empty depending on your view of life), so I wasn’t going to buy gas anyway. I guess I showed big oil who was boss. “I’ll only buy gas on days where I need to buy gas! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL NOT PURCHASE THAT WHICH I DO NOT NEED!!!!!”

And all the people who needed gas today that were dumb enough to participate in this ‘boycott’ will buy tomorrow simply shifting the date of purchase. That’s not a lesson in anything but how some people will do stupid things because an email tells them to.

If you want to teach the oil companies a lesson: Stop buying SUVs and vehicles that use more miles per gallon. Start car pooling. Use mass transit. In other words, change habits that actually cause less gas to be needed for purchase instead of changing the day that it’s purchased.

Why are all my headlines questions?

It’s unclear but probably speaks to a certain amount of laziness. I suppose I should say that I had Chick-fil-a today and used a coupon for a free chicken sandwich. Does that have anything to do with anything? Probably not but it’s worth more investigation.

Is This the Cutest Dog Ever?

Her name is Dylan (after Bob Dylan, not Dylan Thomas) and she is very playful and just might be the greatest dog in the world. She's a West Highland White Terrier. She has a biting thing right now but hopefully she'll stop that.

Free Paris?

Paris Hilton is appealing her 45 day jail sentence for her probation violation on the basis that, according to the petition that she is supporting, she provides “beauty and excitement to our otherwise mundane lives.” In other words, she’s too famous for jail and is above the law because she’s a celebrity.

The Exies have a counter petition going that calls for Hilton to serve her entire 45 day sentence, while the ‘Free Paris’ petition is asking California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA) to pardon the heiress.

Appropriately, Schwarzenegger said, “I have many more important things to think about.” Whether one of those is how to squash plans for Terminator 4 remains unclear.

DUI is something that’s not taken nearly as seriously as it should be in America. Far too often, the initial punishment is probation and a fine. And it doesn’t matter how many drunk driving accidents take place, whether they make national news like Cardinal pitcher Josh Hancock or local news like Brookwood High School’s 17 year old quarterback, Daniel Peek or the countless other drinking related deaths that affect family and friends but don’t make the news, the perception that drinking and driving isn’t THAT big of a deal continues.

The Top 3 Articles Worth Looking At

Atlanta was ranked in the middle of the list of rudest drivers in America. The list compiled 25 metropolitan areas, Miami being the worst and Portland being the best, and it rated Atlanta as having the 12th rudest drivers…or the 13th most polite drivers, depending on how you look at it. The worst drivers I’ve come in contact with were in New York City. They scared the hell out of me, especially some of the taxis.

Bob Geldof is attacking Al Gore for his ‘Live Earth’ concerts because it sounds too much like Geldof’s ‘Live Aid’ and ‘Live Eight’ concerts. Geldof also notes that we’re already aware of global warming, so he’s not sure why Gore’s trying to raise awareness for it. I’m waiting for Gore to respond, “Hey, Geldof, did you win the popular vote in 2000 presidential election? I didn’t think so.” This is what happens when old men want to create large concerts. It’s bound to get ugly.

And last, we have a Time article about presidential candidate Mitt Romney that I found to be interesting though I could be completely wrong.

To read my opinions on the world of sports and other things, you can always read more at my Sporting News site

Second Post: Take 3

A New Breed of Chimp People?

In Austria, some group of moronic activists want this chimpanzee to be declared a person. Lawyer Eberhart Theuer says, “Our main argument is that Hiasl is a person and has basic legal rights.” Okay, so your main argument that he’s a person is that he’s a person. Aces. If courts declare Hiasl to be a person, he will immediately be named leader of the cult and he and his followers will travel to Jonestown for a Kool Aid party.

Global Warming News

A group of fifth grade students in Hampton Road, Virginia are investigating global warming. I’m confident that with these elementary kids on the case, global warming will soon be a thing of the past.

In evidence that casts doubt on the possible gloom of global warming, an arctic seal died in Florida after traveling down from the North Pole. Why else would he be heading south unless he wanted warmer weather? Maybe global warming is what seals have been waiting for. Or maybe the seal had just retired and wanted to move to Del Boca Vista.

NASA is claiming that temperatures could hit 110 in Atlanta in 2080. You know, the weathermen struggle to get the weather right on a five day forecast, I’m not sure how much stock I put in the 80 year forecast.

Completely Incomplete Coverage of the Republican Debate

My heart’s not in writing this because there were way too many candidates and it’s way too early for anyone to be debating anything other than which musical group is the biggest sellout.

There are those who detest naming winners and losers in events like this, but if you don’t pick winners, what’s the point. Are there supposed to be solutions found in these sorts of exhibitions. Were we really going to have a detailed exit strategy presented to get out of Iraq? Was anyone surprised when the debate came down to questions like: Raise your hands if you oppose evolution and What don’t you like about America and Should Hillary be elected president?

Anyway, the winner was the incredibly slick Mitt Romney, even if something seems slightly off about him. I don’t know what it is but there’s something I find just not quite right. Maybe unsettling’s the word. Could be the hair. Could be the flip flops. I mean, I’ve never liked sandals.

The loser of the spectacle was John McCain, who came across as worn out, delivering snippets of stump speeches that lacked context and occasionally answered the question he was asked. He reminded me of the 1984 debate between Reagan and Mondale where campaign handlers had shoved so much information into Reagan that he came across as confused. McCain had too many speeches in his head and instead of answering questions, he reverted back to the information jammed into him. Reagan rebounded in the second debate. What will McCain do and will it be too late? Is it possible to be too late with 9 months until the first primary?

Rudy Giuliani did alright but nothing to write about. As the only Republican to sorta support Roe v. Wade, he did just enough to unnerve conservatives and not enough to pick up left leaning supporters.

Then there were the also-rans who sorta merged together like Voltron. None were all that impressive and if you add them altogether to form a single candidate, it’d be funny looking.

Former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson seemed to be running on a platform of avoiding eye contact. He came across skittish and very unpresidential.

Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee’s suit looked like it came out of Charles Logan’s closet in ‘24’.

Rep. Ron Paul was the only candidate to have voted against the Iraq War and of the also-rans, probably came across the best, though had he been given more time to speak, he would’ve changed that perception.

Sen. Sam Brownback kinda stole the Biden plan for Iraq, basically calling for independent entities based on culture with all sides splitting the oil revenue, a plan that is as equally naïve as it is impossible to implement. The Baker-Hamilton Commission ridiculed the plan.

Rep. Tom Tancredo, Mr. One Issue, didn’t really harp on the issue of immigration all that much, probably because he wanted to seem like a real candidate. On the other hand, he didn’t really give anyone a reason to support him.

Rep. Duncan Hunter seemed mad and came across more like Tancredo than Tancredo did.

I’m not much of a fan of former Virginia Governor James Gilmore. The thing about Gilmore is that he’s petty and has a penchant for seeking revenge against those who disagree with him (see: John Hager). I don’t know but after two terms of a guy like that, I don’t think we need another president who intimidates opposing views so that only his is heard. He avoided compromise and really did a piss poor job with the budget leaving things in a mess for his successor, Mark Warner.

Howard Dean viewed the debate and said it “confirms that a Democrat will be elected in 2008.” Which I could agree with if I didn’t say exactly the opposite after the Democratic debate a few weeks ago. There are so many choices and not a single good choice. Obviously somebody has to win but since this process has started so early this time, it’d be nice if we had better candidates to choose from. Because the next 18 months is going to feel like punishment for some crime I didn’t realize I committed. At least General and Primary will be happy.

There are a number of Republicans who are looking for Fred Thompson to get into the race and I’m not sure why. If I had to pick an actor to be president, I think I’d want Bill Murray. His vice president could be Punxsutawney Phil. It’d be great.

Is Gore Getting In?

Al Gore has been training in a gym to lose weight, fueling speculation that he might be considering a presidential run. I’m picturing Gore in a ‘Rocky’-like montage sequence with ‘Gonna Fly Now’ playing in the background as the former vice president chops wood, does crunches and drinks raw eggs.

Several supporters who gave money to Gore’s campaign in 2000 have yet to commit to a current candidate, likely hanging onto their money in case Gore chooses to run in 2008. In other news, DJ’s holding out his money until Tivo Series 3 comes down in price.

Hamas Goes Disney

Hamas has a kids program with a mouse mascot that looks eerily like Mickey Mouse and it teaches kids the importance of establishing an Islamic rule over the world. I don’t know but it makes sense. Even as a young child, When I saw Mickey Mouse, I thought jihad. You know, a lot of American shows aimed at kids are propaganda to get kids to want toys. Apparently their shows aimed at kids are propaganda to get kids to want to blow themselves up. And it seems that would leave fewer kids to buy toys, which is why that approach isn’t used in America.

I find it slightly amusing that Hamas is using a ripoff of Americana to preach destruction of America. If America is destroyed, who are they going to ripoff then?

Seamless Transition from Hamas to Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton’s publicist said that her jail time will add to her allure. Which makes one wonder why she’s filed an appeal. I suppose her time in jail will broaden her base a little. But honestly, there are two types of people, those who find her/her life interesting and those who don’t. Going to jail won’t change that. It is surprising though. I’m not used to rich, famous, white blonde girls being held accountable for breaking the law.

Top Articles Worth Checking Out

Much has been made about Obama overstating the number of dead in Kansas by a wee bit. He said 10,000 people had died when it was actually 12. A little off but you know, judging by the current administration, I’m not sure accuracy is a prerequisite for the job. Perhaps exaggeration is. I did read an article that’s worth reading about support for Obama.

While I’m being lazy and pointing at other people’s writings instead of actually doing some of my own, look at this one too, which is from the BBC and their writer's take on America.

And how about one more. This one’s more controversial because it cheers the increase in gas prices. Not a popular stance but his point’s well taken. Until things get so bad we HAVE to change, we won’t change. It’s ridiculous that while Honda and Toyota are working to increase the number of miles per gallon their cars get, American auto makers are hell bent on making bigger vehicles that get less mpgs. And the consumers of this country keep buying them. If those vehicles didn’t exist, they couldn’t be purchased and if they were prohibited, they couldn’t exist. I’m a free market guy but something’s gotta give and maybe $4 gas isn’t going to be enough. I don't know. I have a Honda Accord and live six miles from where I work, so it's not a super big deal but anyway.

And Finally...

If you just can't get enough of stuff I wrote, check out what I scribbled together over at www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright.

First Post: Take One

Why did I just create this blog?

I'm in the process of setting up a new computer. My apartment looks like a landfill. I have cookie crumbs in my hair and I don't know why.

And all this brings me back to the question at hand: Why did I just create this blog?

Why don't I finish setting up the computer? Or straighten up my apartment? And just how the hell did these cookie crumbs get in my hair?

The answer is simple. Because I saw a button on Google and I pressed it and they told me to set up a blog. Being the obedient lad that I am, I did what I was told.

I have another blog at http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright. It's a good place and I still think I'll post there but I guess my thinking is that since that's a sports site, I should probably post sports stuff there instead of whatever comes in my head.

So, it's like this: I'll post my sports stuff primarily over there and I'll post other stuff here. You can expect my comments on various political and newsworthy items as well as whatever random thing I decide to include.