Dwight as VP, Barr and Munger and Drunk Writing

Okay, so I’m still in the process of moving and I had my official ‘I’m moving out of here’ party and I bought beer and everything but nobody came, so that was disappointing (and it doesn’t bode well for my official ‘I’m moving in here’ party scheduled for this weekend). And because I’m moving in a few days, I want to have as little stuff to take with me as possible. So I’ve made it my mission to finish all the alcohol I have in the apartment, which has left me somewhat, uh, not totally sober. Usually, I don’t edit these posts for spelling, grammar or logic and I still won’t but if it seems there are more mistakes than usually, writing under the influence is probably the reason.

So, onto the topics:

A McCain/Schrute Ticket

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has announced his choice for running mate. It’s Dwight Schrute (?-PA). The announcement was made on the ‘Daily Show’ but I think it’s real. And it makes sense in a way. Given the currency situation, the dollar is close to being surpassed by the Schrute-buck.

An Obama/Clinton Ticket?

Remember how I wrote about the possibility of Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) being named Senator Barack Obama’s (D-IL) vice president? Remember how I said I didn’t see that happening? Remember? Maybe? No? Anyway, well, Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) agrees with me. Carl Bernstein (the other half of Woodward and Bernstein) wrote an article for CNN about this subject that I deem worth reading.

Robert Novak had an article claiming that Michelle Obama, wife of one of the two candidates (guess which one) has shot down the idea of Clinton being the pick for her husband’s running-mate. Obama dismissed the story saying, “My wife does not talk to Bob Novak on a regular basis.” His communications director, Robert Gibbs added that the article should be set aside “in case of a toilet paper emergency.”

Novak also threw out the name of Governor Ted Strickland (D-OH), which is a name I hadn’t really thought about but he’d be a really good pick. He has strong crossover appeal, especially with some Christian voters, but he’s a Hillary Clinton supporter and campaigned heavily for her when she won Ohio.

Oh and one more thing on that topic, VoteBoth, one of the leading groups calling on an Obama/Clinton ticket, has been traced back to Clinton supporters and actually, of the leadership of the group, none are Obama people. Just something of note…or not. I don’t know.

Hillary: Guardian of the White Vote

In what might be one of the most shocking political statements I’ve heard from a major candidate, Hillary Clinton pointed to her white support as the reason superdelegates should subvert the will of the voters and select her as the party’s nominee. She actually used the term ‘white Americans.’ How many politicians would have made that statement, using those terms. I’m kinda surprised. Dividing the electorate even further along racial lines will only serve to damage the party.

This is an election that the Republicans have handed to the Democrats and the Democrats are almost saying, ‘No thanks.’ It’s completely crazy.

Obama Leads in Superdelegates

Obama has taken over the superdelegate lead for the first time, a category that early on, Clinton dominated. This development takes away one of the arguments from Clinton, since now Obama is leading in superdelegates, pledged delegates, popular vote and total states won. Clinton can now only argue that nebulous ‘I can beat McCain in the general election,’ as well as that she has been attacked enough times nothing will surprise voters and that she’s won the big states.

Mountain Man: 'Ain't He Be Muslim Folk?'

The polls are predicting large wins for Clinton in both West Virginia and Kentucky. And then I read this article about the way some West Virginians view Obama. “I heard that Obama is a Muslim and his wife’s an atheist,” said one of their people.

You know, it’s fair to question Obama’s positions on issues, specifically the statement he made at one debate where he said that the human rights of Pakistani citizens was more important than the national security of America. But when you peddle in rumors and carefully worded innuendo, democracy is done no favors and our country suffers. None of these three candidates are great choices for America and ultimately, most citizens, regardless of who they end up supporting, will vote for the lesser of evils. The least we can do is make sure we’re clear about the evils in question.

Hey, More Debates!

Obama says that if he’s the nominee, he’d be willing to debate McCain in a series of town hall gatherings. Which is great because the one thing this campaign needs is more debates. But damn it, if they actually air these things, I’ll watch every last one of them.

Three To Read

Obama accused McCain of “losing his bearings.” Of course, in fairness, McCain kept opening the closet during an interview while claiming he was hearing a doorbell. So, you know…

Here’s an article about Obama’s political arc and is something worth taking a look at.

Here’s a well-written article from Time about the seven ways McCain can beat Obama.

Barr Ready to Run

Former Representative Bob Barr has announced his intention to run to be the Libertarian Party’s nominee for president, joining former Senator Mike Gravel (who failed to be the Democratic nominee earlier this year). Barr left the Republican Party in 2006 and writes occasional opinion pieces for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. He’s hired Ross Perot’s former campaign manager, so this shows that Barr means business.

Now, in order for Barr to be his new party’s nominee to lose in November, he has to win the nomination process at the national convention next week. He’s considered a favorite by party leaders.

I went on the Libertarian website and found that a disproportionate number of candidates for the party have goatees. I don’t know what this means. Most disturbing though was this guy.



He’s Michael Munger and he would just love to be the next governor of North Carolina. The question is: Are the wonderful people of North Carolina ready for a governor that looks like he’s wearing a Bruce Vilanch wig? I mean, he looks like a little girl’s dolly.

My favorite part of Mr. Munger’s biography is this line: “[His family has] two large dogs of indecipherable pedigree.” Or in other words, a mutt. Is mutt a bad term now? Can we not say that anymore? Robert Lamutt used the word ‘mutt’ in a political campaign when he was running for Congress. Of course, he lost. Is that why? I’ll have to think on that.

As for Mr. Munger, he’s polling around 4% in the NC gubernatorial race.

Robert Kennedy Article

Speaking of politicians and hair…

I spent Mothers’ Day in Loganville with my mom and brother. I got to play (original) Nintendo and defeat my brother in several sports games in variously embarrassing ways. We all watched the first two Indiana Jones movies (I watched the third one earlier that day on USA). And I read an article about Robert Kennedy in a Vanity Fair my mom had bought earlier.

It was a fly-by of the start of his 1968 presidential campaign and while it carefully failed to tread new ground on the subject, it did have a lot of pictures I’d never seen and the one thing I was really struck by was how great Bobby’s hair was. And strangely, the more messed up it was, the better it looked. I’m not saying I would ever vote for someone because of their hair BUT if I were to do that, I think Bobby would’ve been the guy. However, his love of conversations, specifically his love to listen to other people’s private conversations might’ve been enough to make me think twice about supporting him. Of course, how much of that was really known in ’68, I don’t know.

Back to Bob Barr

Did I ever actually finish the thing on Bob Barr or did I get distracted by Munger’s mane?

Ron's Revolt

Supporters of Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) are plotting to do something at the Republican Convention that will embarrass the party, themselves and probably Dr. Paul himself. They call it a revolt. You know, I find his supporters to be frightening. Conspiracy theories are fun but they’re like ghost stories. You shouldn’t base an ideology on either one.

Are Evangelicals Evolving to Think On Their Own?

This article talks about a new group of young evangelical Christians that are abandoning the GOP. One student talks about the importance of not following James Dobson and instead looking at the individual issues. Really? You mean, think for yourself? Why would you want to do that for? It’s amazing that a group can say that might actually examine the issues and come up with a decision on their own and that’s newsworthy.

The last line of the article was kinda funny though: “I just keep thinking, if Jesus were alive now, he wouldn't necessarily be voting Republican.” Number one, this was a seminary student and there’s something oddly off about the theology of this statement that seems to undermine his apparent career choice. And second, of course Jesus wouldn’t vote Republican. He’d be over in Israel and would be voting in the Knesset elections.

Major Al Qaida Arrest?

Iraq has reported the capture of Abu Ayyub al-Masri, leader of Al Qaida in Iraq. Exciting news? Ah, not so much. Iraq has reported his death three separate times and his capture twice. The US is denying that the dude’s been captured this time just like they’ve denied the previous reports. Can Iraq do anything right? They’re kind of an embarrassment. I mean, even if we withdraw, Iraq’s success or failure will reflect on the US. If they can’t get capture/death reports right, how can they maintain a stable government? They can’t. You know, it makes me wonder what their weather reports are like. How accurate are those? “Abdul, you must stop forecasting snow every Thursday! It’s not going to snow!” “But I like Thursday and I want to make a snow angel.”

Burma News

Reportedly, the death toll in Burma following the recent cyclone could hit a half a million people, which to me, is hard to fathom (and is also probably inaccurate since most other estimates have the number much lower, though still staggering). Part of the problem is that the government is getting in the way of incoming aid from other countries, making it less likely that the people who need it will actually get it. There have been discussions about the United States bypassing the government and conducting air lifts directly to the people in need. Of course, it’s hard not to think of Somalia when thinking about a government preventing aid getting to their citizens.

Sharpton's Savings

Al Sharpton doesn’t think he should have to pay taxes. And I agree. I shouldn’t have to pay taxes either. Think Sharpton will come to my defense when I get hauled off to jail? Probably not. So I’m not going to defend him on his right not to pay taxes.

NOTE TO THE IRS: I paid my taxes. What I just wrote was simply a joke. It was not meant to be taken seriously. Fuck, man…I probably shouldn’t do any more jokes.

We Found Jane Doe!

I’ve never known anyone named Jane Doe but according to official Department of Defense records, there apparently is one and Rear Admiral John Stufflebeem fucked her…in the White House…after telling her that his wife had died of cancer. First, his name sounds like a joke, both his last name and his job title. Anyway, he’s been demoted and could be facing charges of lying to investigators. Stufflebeem, when not having his beam stuffled, was one of the main spokesmen during the initial days of the conflict in Afghanistan. If you saw his picture, you’d probably remember him

Get Farina

Actor Dennis Farina (who, if you don’t recognize the name, you’d recognize the face) was arrested at Los Angeles Airport after TSA found a gun in his carry-on baggage. He said he forgot it was there. It seems Mr. Farina was on his way to check the contents of a certain locker so he could get the money that funny looking guy owed him. I wonder if right before he was arrested, he turned around and became Harvey Keitel.

At Least They Can See

Burglars broke into a Buckhead Pearle Vision the other day and stole $150,000 worth of stuff. I think they’re pretty clever because I wouldn’t’ve thought to break into a place like that. I got new glasses a few weeks ago and given how expensive frames are, it’s surprising those places aren’t more of a target. Police are investigating to decide whether this group of burglars are the same ones who broke into a nearby Fatburger and stole a flat screen television. I had lunch at that Fatburger with my brother several months ago. I don’t know if he remembers that or not.

The Dumb One Died

A man committed suicide by jumping from his 11th floor balcony in a midtown apartment. He was upset after failing the GED and because he believed that he wasn’t as smart as his boyfriend, who also lived in the apartment. Not to be nasty but I’m going to go ahead and agree with the newly deceased guy, if for no other reason than the boyfriend didn’t jump after failing a test. But I don’t know. I never met either one.

Not Again!

A Sherpa is going to climb Mount Everest for the 18th time. ‘Hey, Sherpa-dude, maybe you think about climbing another mountain. Maybe you think about climbing Kilimanjaro or Mt. McKinley or Stone Mountain.’

What I Watched on Television Today

In addition to watching both games of the Braves’ doubleheader, I watched a documentary on the National Geographic called ‘Inside a Cult.’ As the title suggests, it’s about the inside of a cult. The amount of access the documentary crew had was absolutely incredible, though it shed little light on why people join to begin with. This cult, like many others, are splinter groups from another organized religion and it takes pieces of the Bible but interprets them in a way that is mainly beneficial to the leader himself.

Also, the other day, I watched Jay Leno and Harrison Ford was on there and I don’t know if he was drunk or on painkillers or what but he didn’t seem to be all there. Also on the show: Carly Simon. And she looked like she was lip synching some song that's destined for airplay at a dentist office in the near future. The worst part was that her head seems to have shrunk but her mouth is as large as ever. Two thirds of her face is mouth. It’s fuckin’ scary.

What I’m Listening to on My Mp3 Player

I’m listening to…Actually, I’m a little embarrassed to say what’s playing right now. I’ll say that it’s a Georgia band. I’ll say that they’re out of Stockbridge and the song is the seventh track off their fourth album. I like the song but am ashamed to admit it. Please forgive me.

Random Thoughts

I don’t usually watch commercials because I have a DVR and I’m a spoiled brat but I was watching a ‘live’ Seinfeld episode and a Chevy Malibu commercial came on and it featured ‘Lazy Eye’ by the Silversun Pickups. And maybe I’m overreacting a bit but I died a little on the inside.

I got my $600 rebate check direct deposited to my account the other day. I guess I should be thrilled but basically, once you do all the math on this thing, it’s a prepayment on next year’s tax refund.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Mockery is the sincerest form of mockery.


To read my thoughts on sports, please visit http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright