Gas Taxes, No-Spin Hillary and Tootsie Pop Experts

Gas Tax

Recently, both Senators Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and John McCain (R-AZ) have called for a temporary moratorium on the federal gas tax for the summer months. The federal gas tax is about 18 cents per gallon and the money is used to fund transportation projects, including building and maintaining roads and bridges.

The plan is drawing intense criticism from economist and the other person running for president, Senator Barack Obama (D-IL).

It is likely that a drop in price will lead to an increase in demand that will cause the price of gas to rise at a level that will offset whatever savings the tax break will create.

Obama dismissed the plan as a ‘shell game’ that was motivated by politics. Clinton responded by saying that this is further proof that Obama is out of touch with Americans. And he might well be. Most Americans might think removing that gas tax is a good idea but it’s not the right thing.
In addition to not making a difference in the cost of gas, removing the federal tax would also cause the funding of several transportation projects around the country to be pulled. This would cost many workers their jobs.

Also, it’s quite possible that the full value of the tax cut would be passed on to consumers. The gas companies could claim that they have to raise the price of gas to protect supply (which would make sense) and then pocket a sizable portion of the gas tax, making it another tax break to oil companies.

Clinton said in an interview with Bill O’Reilly last week that her measure would be paid for by adding a ‘windfall tax’ to oil companies. The government would determine what’s an okay profit to make and tax any amount of above that, which is double taxing revenue that was already taxed once. Besides drifting the country even further toward socialism, it’s not effective because the prices can still increase to make up for the loss. In the end, any ‘windfall tax’ will be paid by consumers in the same way all corporate taxes are ultimately passed on and paid for by consumers.

The increase in the price of gas is clearly a problem and must be examined. But a quick and easy fix (an ineffective) isn’t the answer. Clinton and McCain know that. They’re just betting that the public doesn’t.

Hillary in the ‘No-Spin Zone’

Speaking of the previously mentioned interview on the ‘O’Reilly Factor,’ I actually forced myself to watch it. I generally have a policy of avoiding Fox News whenever possible, especially the ‘Factor’ but when I heard Clinton was going to be on there, I set my DVR to record and I just finished watching it.

The interview started with a discussion of gas prices, which I already referenced earlier. In addition to the temporary suspension of the federal gas tax and creating a ‘windfall profit’ tax, she vowed to take on OPEC. When asked how she would do that, she noted that nine of the thirteen OPEC nations are also in the World Trade Organization. She would file complaints with the WTO against those countries and push for legislation that would allow OPEC nations to be sued. She also called for drivers to change their habits but didn’t say what habits needed to be changed.

The second issue was a brief trip through tax policy including the payroll tax. She said she supported raising taxes to the 90s level. When asked if she’d raise the payroll tax, as Obama has suggested he would, she declined to get into details about her Social Security plan, other than to say she would put together a commission to look into it like President Ronald Reagan did in the early 80s.

The next question O’Reilly asked Clinton: Are you a polarizing figure? This was a very bizarre question to me because I couldn’t figure out how she was supposed to answer that. She said that she had more of a history of working across party lines in the Senate than Obama has, which is true, in part because she’s been there four years longer and has a longer history of doing anything there.

She went on to say that a president must be tough and be willing to fight so they can take on the oil, insurance and drug companies. This is part of the continued attack Clinton has waged on Obama about him being weak.

In the second half of the interview, the opening topic was about foreign policy, specifically Iran, which she agreed was one of the biggest threats to America and couldn’t be allowed to obtain a nuclear weapon. Her rhetoric against Iran has been alarmingly hot and O’Reilly didn’t press her too much on this matter because he agrees with the supercharged rhetoric.

As for Iraq, they both agreed was in a mess currently but she felt that the troops had accomplished their military goals, both removing Saddam Hussein from power and getting the Iraqis the security to hold open elections and giving the politicians the time to create a stable government. Because there is nothing left for the military to do, she supports pulling them out since what’s wrong with Iraq can’t be fixed militarily. O’Reilly suggested that Iran wants the US to withdraw and Clinton disputed that. She said that remaining in Iraq weakens our country’s ability to deal with the other problems in the world, which I took to mean Afghanistan/Pakistan and the situation in Iran.

As for Afghanistan, she supports adding troops to finish out the mission there, which includes fully taking out al Qaida and the Taliban. When O’Reilly brought up Pakistan’s role in this, she said he supported putting pressure on Pakistan to do more but didn’t specify what form that pressure would take. When O’Reilly suggested pulling aid from Pakistan, she declined to support that, though she didn’t unequivocally take it off the table.

When asked why she didn’t support torture, specifically waterboarding, Clinton questioned whether torture is an effective means of interrogation and she said that it wasn’t in our country’s best interest.

The final question dealt with illegal immigration. She was asked if she would crack down on sanctuary cities and she quickly said that she wouldn’t but then the discussion devolved into ‘What’s the definition of a sanctuary city?’ Her position, though not especially well articulated in the interview, is that illegal immigrants who commit violent crimes should be turned over to the federal officials but that local law enforcement agents shouldn’t be in the position of going door to door to enforce a federal law.

She noted that she voted for tougher border laws including putting up a wall along certain parts of the border, which is interesting because in one debate, she backed away from her vote on that issue, coming close to saying she regretted that vote.

And that was it. That was the interview. It probably lasted about 40 minutes over two nights. In all, I think she did a very good job. It took a certain amount of guts to go on a show like that. It’s notable that Obama has not agreed to do that. She showed a good sense of humor without being overly caustic, especially during the first part of the interview. She displayed a certain amount of charm at times and was not as robotic as she often comes across being. She was quick and sharp on most policy issues, being specific without appearing wonkish. She also was able to show a certain amount of combativeness but in a good way, not like her husband when he was interviewed by Fox News’ Chris Wallace. She had a very clear idea of what she wanted to do during the interview and she accomplished it.

Her willingness to go on the show displays an interesting shift in this election. Most primary elections have the candidates running to their respective extremes, only to run center in time for the general election. Because of the way this Democratic election season has gone, both candidates are scrambling for more moderate votes, keeping them from running too far to the left, which is why both have positively invoked the name of Reagan. In the end, they’re trying to retake the so called ‘Reagan Democrats.’ Whether her appearance is a positive step for her remains to be seen but just watching a primary where the center matters is certainly a good thing.

As for O’Reilly, I thought it was basically fair. I mean, he was still his typical asshole self but I don’t think he asked anything that was too unfair or nasty. I’ll give O’Reilly credit for not changing his style or agreeing to take certain questions off the table in order to get her to come on the show.

After each part of the interview, the remainder of the show was filled with various commentators judging the interview, both Clinton and O’Reilly’s respective performances.

Dick Morris gave his review but I was distracted because his suit looked too big and it made me wonder if he’s planning to audition for the upcoming Talking Heads reunion.

Dennis Miller criticized O’Reilly for being soft. While I liked O’Reilly having commentators on to mock him, it seemed almost self-indulgent on some level and it really got old. There was no reason to divide this interview into two parts other than to have two big rating nights.

In the end, both O’Reilly and Clinton came out looking pretty good and it was a decently informative interview.

Read My Book...Read My Book

Before the second part of his interview with Clinton, O’Reilly attacked Al Franken, who’s running for Senate in Minnesota, for not paying taxes. He said, “[Al Franken] has been dishonest his entire working life and if you don’t believe me, check out page 97 of ‘Culture Warrior.’” And this is a book written by…you guessed it, Bill O’Reilly. So, in other words, ‘If you don’t believe what I just said, read what I wrote.’ Yep, that’s there. Look at that.

Mandela: US Certified Terrorist

Guess who’s found himself on the US Terrorist Watch List? Nelson Mandela. It’s unclear what he did to put himself on there but several members of Congress have vowed to fix a situation that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has called ‘embarrassing.’

Mandela was a member of the African National Congress, which was a banned anti-apartheid group back in the 70s and 80s. South Africa declared the ANC a terrorist organization and several countries added the group to their terrorist watch lists as well. The US was one of those nations. The State Department has been issuing temporary travel waivers to the former members of the ANC, including Mandela, who turns 90 this July.

Obituary

Albert Hofmann, the guy who invented LSD, died the other day at the age of 102. Without him, the world would have existed without the following:



Speaking of which…

John Lennon can be seen on film smoking pot and joking about putting LSD in President Richard Nixon’s tea. Yoko Ono is going to court to make sure no one can see this film, part of 10 hours of raw footage shot by Anthony Cox, Ono’s husband before she married Lennon. The footage was edited into a two hour documentary put together by World Wide Video. Ono is claiming copyright infringement.

The True Lesbians

And while we're talking about legal action: It turns out that there’s an island called Lesbos off the coast of Greece whose inhabitants are known as Lesbians. As you may or may not be aware, the word ‘lesbian’ has another connotation as well and that doesn’t please those from Lesbos and they’re asking a Greek court to fix the situation. How are they going to do this? Well, based on what I learned from ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding,’ they’re going to use what all Greeks use for everything: Windex.

Exclusive Interview With an Expert

We’re in for a special treat today because earlier this week, I had the pleasure to interview the world’s most renowned expert on Tootsie Roll Pops. Because of Iranian threats and a partial fatwa issued, her identity must be kept secret.

DJ Wright: Let’s start off with the obvious. Why do the Iranians hate you so much?
Tootsie Expert: Well, I think they’re just anti-Tootsie Pop. Most terrorists have expressed concerns over what the Tootsie Pop could mean if introduced into Middle Eastern culture. It’s just—They view it as a threat.
DW: I greatly appreciate you taking the time to conduct this phone interview. You’re probably the least well known famous person who’s an expert on hard candy with a soft middle.
TE: It’s a pleasure to talk with you. I don’t grant interviews very often because of the obvious.
DW: The obvious?
TE: That’s correct, DJ. The obvious.
DW: What got you interested in Tootsie Roll Pops?
TE: It was the Owl. He explained that it took three licks to get to the middle of a Tootsie Pop and I thought I could prove him wrong.
DW: So your lifelong interest sprung from an attempt to prove an owl wrong?
TE: Owls mainly say ‘Who?’ and I figured, you know, how smart could he be? And you know what? I was able to get to the middle of a Tootsie Pop in a single bite.
DW: So in some ways, you’re an explorer, like Magellan or DeSoto.
TE: Yes but I’m more than that. I’m like Roger Banister. He broke the four minute mile, you know. So I think I’m a combination of Magellan and Banister. More Magellan than DeSoto. DeSoto was a clown. Everyone knows that.
DW: According to Tootsie Pop’s website, over 50,000 children have written the company claiming they know definitively how many licks it takes to get to the center and that most kids have estimated the number between 100 and 6,000.
TE: Well, I’m better than a child because if I were ever to get into a fist fight with one, I would be able to kick them in their tiny shins. That makes me better.
DW: Fair enough. Before this interview officially started, you mentioned your issues with brown Tootsie Roll Pops.
TE: I did. I don’t have any respect for them. Not in the least. First of all, brown’s not a taste. Everyone knows that in the world of lollipops, green is lime, purple is grape—
DW: But there’s no purple in a Tootsie Pop bag.
TE: No, there’s not…Not to the untrained eye. But what appears blue is actually purple. Purple has a very complex relationship with blue and that’s something I’d really love to talk about but we’d have to really get into a discussion of DNA and the history of psychiatry.
DW: Right, and I really want to keep talking about Tootsie Pops. What makes brown taste so bad?
TE: In general, brown paper is bad.
DW: How can you tell that?
TE: I can tell with something sucks. I guarantee you, brown is the last one eaten in any bag. You dump Tootsie Pops in a basket for people in an office to eat and eventually, you’ll be left with a bunch of brown. No one likes brown.
DW: I read on the Internet where you go to great extremes to avoid brown.
TE: Yes. When I buy a Tootsie Pop bag, I refuse to leave the store with brown. I open the bag and drop the brown Tootsie Pops on the floor. I’ve had complaints but I’m willing to pay full price but I won’t allow brown Tootsie Pops in my car. Anyone with integrity should follow my lead.
DW: What keeps most people from following your lead?
TE: There are weak people in this world. That’s why we have self-help sections in the bookstore. People need to get stronger before they do the right thing and sometimes the right thing means scattering brown Tootsie Pops on the floor at CVS.
DW: I understand there was a Halloween incident.
TE: I had a son that told me to save the browns and hand them out at Halloween and I refused. I’m not going to force brown on other people. It’s like the Bible says: Do unto others as you want the Tootsie Roll given to you.
DW: You’re a woman of deep convictions. Talk about convictions.
TE: It just pisses me off to see brown. I could live my life, every now and then seeing brown or I could say, “You know what? No, I’m not going to stand for brown.”
DW: You once wrote a 489 page essay about the shrinking middle of the modern Tootsie Pop. Now, the official position of the company was to issue a press release denouncing your essay. What say you?
TE: The company hasn’t been the same since Tom Medric left. Here’s the thing, I don’t like walking around with a stick hanging out of my mouth and so I would often suck on the Tootsie Pop until I could pull the stick out. I had the Tootsie Pop in my mouth and no one had to know. Pretty soon, I couldn’t do that anymore. I noticed the change in 1990. Billy was seven.
DW: Now who is Billy?
TE: He is someone who was seven in 1990. He turned eight the following year.
DW: How long have you been a Tootsie Pop expert?
TE: Pretty much my whole life. I’m a 100 year old expert. That’s alotta years, you know. That’s alotta throwing away brown.
DW: When I say Tootsie Pop, what do you think of?
TE: Childhood. I think about when I got my allowance, 25 cents a week. And that’s back when a week was still seven days, so, you know. I had to be careful with what I bought. I couldn’t afford to buy everything. I had to look for value.
DW: Talk about value.
TE: Well, a pack of gum had five pieces and was 10 cents. You could get a bouquet of Tootsie Pops, three in a pack, for 5 cents. The decision is easy. Tootsie Pops were the best value unless there was a brown in there.
DW: And brown’s no value at all.
TE: Not at all. Now, there was Chum Gum. You got two pieces for a penny and that was a great value. I loved the royal blue lettering. Of course, it wasn’t as good as Juicy Fruit but it was all about getting the best value for my money.
DW: Even as a seven year old girl. That’s inspiring. Best Tootsie Pop?
TE: I like them all. That’s hard. If I kept a secret and didn’t tell the rest of the bag, I’d go with red. Red’s great but you can’t go wrong with any of them, except for brown.
DW: Off topic a little: You won the amateur championship at Frisbee but you never went pro. Why was that?
TE: For years, I told people it was because the world wasn’t ready for me but the truth was: I never could get it to boomerang and you hafta be able to do that to turn pro. I was ashamed to admit that until last week.
DW: So that’s an exclusive piece of information.
TE: It is. Okay, my cell phone is getting too hot to hold in my hand. Bye.

And with that, she hung up but I think she taught us all a little about life and a lot about Tootsie Rolls. Truly, she is a roll model for all of us.

New Apartment

I was busy this weekend. I found a new place to live since my 60 days notice I issued my current complex is running out in a few weeks. I am going to sign the papers on Thursday and will be set to move in a week from then. And does this give me a lot of time to pack? The answer, boys and girls, is no, it does not give me a lot of time to pack. Which makes one wonder, why exactly am I writing this for instead of packing? And the answer, girls and boys, is that I don’t like doing things that I don’t like doing and I don’t like packing so I’m delaying it.

Which is why the word of the day is: Procrastination: n. [L. procrastinatio] – (prō kràsti náysh'n, prə kràsti náysh'n) – The act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off to a future time; delay; dilatoriness.

So in a couple weeks, I’ll be leaving Cobb County which is sad because I’ve grown to love Cobb over the last three years. But there is a nearby CD Exchange where I’m moving to though, so you know…

Important Headlines

New Jersey is considering a ‘sin tax’ on fast food. Note to self, next time I want a Big Mac, I should avoid driving to New Jersey to get it. Besides, South Cobb Drive is closer. Wait a minute, I'm leaving South Cobb and am going to a place with no established McDonald's. I'll never be able to have a Big Mac again.

The White House admitted the ‘Mission Accomplished’ banner incident from five years ago was a mistake. If it takes five years for them to admit mistakes like this, can we expect such admissions to trickle out over the next 30 years?

Gretchen Wilson, 34 year old country music singer, finished high school. She had had to repeat 9th grade several times because evidently she misunderstood what the term ‘freshmen’ meant.

What I Watched on Television

I watched a few movies lately. One of which featured Reese Witherspoon as a stripper. And I was confused.

The movie was ‘Overnight Delivery,’ which is truly a bad, bad movie that also stars Paul Rudd playing…the Paul Rudd character that he pretty much always plays.

What I’m Listening to On My Mp3 Player

I actually don’t have my Mp3 player turned on right now. I don’t know what to say.

Random Thoughts

I will never drink four Rusty Nails followed by three and a half glasses of Ketel One before trying to redecorate a bathroom that is not my own.

I promise to never, ever trust in a zip code again. Never again, I say!

Last Thought

You know, I can’t come with a last thought because I saw this odd video that I think has ruined me for thinking for at least a week. The song is called ‘Konichiwa Bitches’ and it’s performed by Robyn. And yes, that’s the same Robyn who had chart success with ‘Show Me Love’ back in the 90s.

Robyn’s from Sweden and was born Robin Miriam Carlsson. When I was in seventh grade, a girl in my class changed her name from Robin to Robyn because it sounded prettier. Anyway, ten years have passed without hearing much from Ms. Carlsson and now we have this little video and song: