My Last Week, RFK Comments & Indiana Jones

This is my last week and I will try to get a new post per day until Friday. I’ve gone back and forth on this a bit but the bottom line is that I don’t feel like going on so…It’ll probably be about four more entries until the end.

Tossing Endorsements Overboard

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has rejected the endorsements of two preachers (John Hagee and Rod Parsley) he sought to shore up conservative support during the primaries. Both pastors are those apocalyptical preachers that view everything through the prism of a single book of the Bible (Revelation) and end up saying outlandish things like how God caused the Holocaust to happen so the Jews would end up in Israel again…because it’s part of Biblical prophecy and the apocalypse can’t take place without the Jews in Israel.

Honestly, McCain probably never believed anything that Hagee or Parsley preach about and simply sought out their endorsements as part of political maneuvering, which while creepy on one level, sure beats the idea that he wanted their support because they share his views. It’s not the same as spending 20 years in a church with a pastor who served as your personal spiritual advisor…unless Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) wants to come out and say that he used Jeremiah Wright to gain street cred in Chicago while he was an up and coming local politician.

Other Primary Notes

While the long primary season might’ve hurt Obama in some ways, this article points out that it also gave him a shot at running in almost all 50 states and developing an especially sharp ground game.

This is an article about what McCain should be looking for in a running mate. Slow dancing skills were not one of the things mentioned.

The RFK Remark

You can’t mention the presidential primary without looking at the Robert Kennedy comments Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) recently made. In an interview discussing her chance at clinching the nomination and how primaries often aren’t decided until June, she said, “My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.”

I saw the interview and the context the statement was made in and the interviewer skipped right by the assassination reference and stayed with the ‘primaries-don’t-end-before-June’ line of questioning. Her campaign defended the remark, which she had previously made in March, saying that she was merely talking about the history of primaries. Which I agree with…sorta.

You know how you can say something that means one thing on one level and has another meaning on another? That’s clearly what this is. It’s like when Obama during a debate talked about admiring Clinton for withstanding media attacks of the mid-90s and then started restating those attacks she withstood. It sounded like he was complimenting her but what he was actually doing was bringing up those old attacks. If Clinton attacked him for doing that, he could’ve responded by saying, ‘I agree those were unfair attacks and I was praising you for withstanding them.’ She would’ve looked silly and so she kept her mouth shut and he got free shots at her.

The difference with this is that there are people who remember where they were when Robert Kennedy was killed and his death brings back memories and because it had an effect on their lives, they’re going to have a strong, negative reaction to Clinton’s comments…regardless of their ‘intent.’

But for the Clinton campaign to act like people who took those comments in a negative way are somehow irrational, ignorant or irresponsible…I don’t know, it kind of explains why Clinton’s in the mess that she’s in after being a clear frontrunner for so long.

Oh, and one last thing about the comments. She keeps bringing up about her husband winning the nomination in June. The Iowa caucus happened six weeks later then than it did in 2008, so mid June in that cycle is the equivalent to late April in this one. Also, he clinched the nomination because he went over the pledged delegate count, he was virtually mathematically assured of winning the contest win he nearly swept Super Tuesday and his main competition, Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) didn’t win a state after March 24th (which would’ve been the equivalent to the second week of February in this year’s cycle).

Her husband won 52% of the popular vote in what started out as a crowded field. He lost just nine states. So while he didn’t become the presumptive nominee until June, it wasn’t like this was a competitive race until June. And even if it was, the primary season started six weeks later than it did this year. Her comparison is just inaccurate.

As for the 1968 primary, it’s a totally different discussion. There was an incumbent president within the party who announced he wouldn’t run late into the game (the last day of March 1968). This through the nomination into a tailspin that guaranteed it couldn’t be resolved quickly. Second, the primary system is vastly different now than it was then. It was much less dependent on individual primaries back then. In fact, only a few states even held primaries. Third, the party was undergoing a realignment and therefore was deeply fractured. This caused votes to be split and final tallies to be very narrow. It wasn’t like the presidential nominee was going to be chosen by June. It was going to go to convention just like it always had in the past. Clinton’s statement ignores these realities.

If these two examples are her arguments for staying in…her argument isn’t very strong since neither bear even the slightest resemblance to the situation she finds herself in.

Clinton Has the Most Votes…Sorta

Clinton is also going around claiming to have the lead in the popular vote. But looking at this collection of information, she’s trailing in the popular vote any way you look at it unless you include Michigan, a state where Obama’s name didn’t appear on the ballot. By the most favorable count for Clinton (including Florida and Michigan), she leads by 164,654. It’s worth noting that Uncommitted finished second in Michigan with 238,168.

Random Lieberman Update

Senator Joe Lieberman (I-CT) continued his person War on Terror by demanding YouTube take down various Islamist videos that are deemed to encourage terrorism. YouTube took down some of the videos that contained violence or hate speech, which they said violated their community standards but did not take down all the videos in question.

New Bin Laden Tape

Osama bin Laden released a tape that called on Muslims to liberate Palestine. It was a short message, lasting just under 10 minutes and he didn’t give his review of the new Indiana Jones movie.

The Ruskies Are Seeing Red

Russia’s Communist party was upset with the new Indiana Jones movie. It’s unclear whether it was the overreliance on CGI effects or how every time Indy was doing a stunt, it was dark and shadowy and you couldn’t see Harrison Ford’s face.

I saw this movie over the weekend and it was a dreadful piece of shit. It should’ve been called ‘Indiana Jones and the Quest for a Heart’ because this movie was in desperate need of heart. It was a collection of stunts that didn’t have to make sense and a plot that seemed to borrow liberally from 'Alien v. Predator,' 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind' and a bad 'X-Files' episode. Aside from being predictable and hokey, it was also boring. The action scenes were dull, the acting was soulless and the ending wouldn’t actually end…something that Steven Spielberg has struggled with for the last 10 years or so.

Oh…and Shia LeFluff as an motorcycle riding greaser? I buy it just less than I bought C. Thomas Howell in ‘The Outsiders.’

However, I had a blast making sarcastic comments throughout the film. So, I at least had a fun time, even if the movie sucked alien ass.

Karen Allen Hides Her Role

Karen Allen reprises her role that she played in the first movie. She claims that Spielberg originally wanted to keep her role in this picture a secret. She said, “Even after the film was announced, people would call me. 'Oh, it's too bad you're not going to be in the film.' I had to go along with it and say, 'Yeah, it's a shame.' When it was finally announced I was in it, it was a huge relief. I was having to make up stories for why I wasn't in it, and I was finding it excruciating to have to do that.”

Why was she having to make up stories for why she wouldn’t be in this Indiana Jones movie? I mean, she wasn’t in the second or third one? You think Short Round (the little Goonies kid from the Temple of Doom) is explaining to friends and family why he isn’t in this one? No, he’s still explaining why he hasn’t done a real movie since 'Encino Man' and telling stories about what Howard Hessman’s REALLY like.

At the Dwarf House

I ate at the Chick-fil-a Dwarf House with my mom and brother over the weekend. She had salad with a side of salad. That’s not a joke. This wasn’t her choice though. She ordered a salad and the waitress brought out a side salad and then a little bit later, she came by and gave my mom the main salad. It was weird.

I had a steak, which I knew was a mistake. I mean, Chick-fil-a uses cows as their spokesmen and here the company is serving chopped up cows for lunch. I should’ve ordered something else and when I got sick, I knew I had it coming.

I did get to walk through the tiny dwarf door though, so it was at least kinda worth it.

Hey, do dwarves get offended by the Dwarf House? Do any dwarves go there or do they avoid it? Would they use the dwarf door or the door for real sized people? It’d be hard to laugh if I saw a dwarf or a midget at a Dwarf House.

The Great DJ

There's this band called the Ting Tings and when I first heard this song, I didn't know the name of it and I thought it was annoying. Then I heard it again. Still annoying. Then I heard the name of it, 'The Great DJ' and I felt like I was supposed to like it, so I listened again. And I don't know if it's the dancing, the strings (ee ee ee ee ee ee ee) or if it's the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums, the drums...but damn it, I started liking this song. I'm sure it's probably not going to translate for anyone else but just in case, take a listen.

Morrison Revisits Her ‘First Black President’ Comment

Toni Morrison once famously referred to Bill Clinton as America’s ‘First Black President’ and it’s since been repeated many times. Well now that she’s endorsed Senator Barack Obama (D-IL), she’s been asked whether she regrets coining the phrase. Her answer: “People misunderstood that phrase. I was deploring the way in which President Clinton was being treated, vis-à-vis the sex scandal that was surrounding him. I said he was being treated like a black on the street, already guilty, already a perp. I have no idea what his real instincts are, in terms of race.” Which got me to thinking. What was the original context of the quote? I thought it had to do with his upbringing, coming from a single parent home and such. I don’t recall it having anything to do with the sex scandal and in fact thought it was said before his second term in office. So I went looking for the original quote and I found it. It was part of an essay she wrote for The New Yorker and the full text can be found here. It turns out that I was wrong. The essay was written in October 1998, after the Lewinsky story broke. The piece is all about the scandal itself and basically says that while adultery is wrong, it’s not an impeachable offense and that the situation was being blown out of proportion. She then (somewhat inexplicably) says that black men knew this was the case before anyone else because they’d been through the same thing Clinton had been through in terms of treatment and guilt versus innocence. And then the paragraph that gave birth to the phrase in question: “African-American men seemed to understand it right away. Years ago, in the middle of the Whitewater investigation, one heard the first murmurs: white skin notwithstanding, this is our first black President. Blacker than any actual black person who could ever be elected in our children's lifetime. After all, Clinton displays almost every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald's-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas. And when virtually all the African-American Clinton appointees began, one by one, to disappear, when the President's body, his privacy, his unpoliced sexuality became the focus of the persecution, when he was metaphorically seized and bodysearched, who could gainsay these black men who knew whereof they spoke? The message was clear "No matter how smart you are, how hard you work, how much coin you earn for us, we will put you in your place or put you out of the place you have somehow, albeit with our permission, achieved. You will be fired from your job, sent away in disgrace, and--who knows?--maybe sentenced and jailed to boot. In short, unless you do as we say (i.e., assimilate at once), your expletives belong to us." For a large segment of the population who are not African-Americans or members of other minorities, the elusive story left visible tracks: from target sighted to attack, to criminalization, to lynching, and now, in some quarters, to crucifixion. The always and already guilty "perp" is being hunted down not by a prosecutor's obsessive application of law but by a different kind of pursuer, one who makes new laws out of the shards of those he breaks.” So, I guess I see her point to some degree. On the other hand, she’s making an argument about blackness being a set of character traits and socioeconomic circumstances. In her Time interview, she dismisses too easily her original statement and while she apparently only used it once, I couldn’t find any article where she clarifies her position on the matter until she endorsed Obama over Bill Clinton’s wife. Off To Prison What do you get when you cross a liberal talk show host with a former Catholic priest? You get Bernie Ward pleading guilty to distribution of child pornography in a deal that will see him sent to prison for at least five years. He admitted to sending between 15 and 150 child porn pictures by email. Which begs the question, the difference between 15 and 150 pictures is pretty large. Can he (or the investigators) not narrow it down a little more than that? Guy Claims OJ Confessed Some jerk by the name of Mike Gilbert is coming out with a book called, “How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder: The Shocking Inside Story of Violence, Loyalty, Regret and Remorse.” He claims credit for helping OJ Simpson bloat his hands so the glove wouldn’t fit, leading to the unfortunate Johnny Cochran rhyme: “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” If anyone thinks this book is a little sleazy sounding, raise your hands. Okay, hands down now. Seriously, I can understand if you helped someone get away with murder, you’d feel guilty but to have guilt so long delayed and come at a time where he’s fallen out with OJ and is currently in a tough time monetarily, including being pursued by the IRS for a tax issue, makes one doubt Gilbert’s sincerity. ‘Allow me to release my guilt by buying my book and giving me money.’ Cruise’s New Movie Stalls Tom Cruise’s newest movie has been put on the shelf until 2009. I’m betting that he broke all the couches and they’re waiting for a new shipment to come in. I Forgot The Header For This One This story freaks me out and I don’t know why exactly. This guy is one of three people who remember every detail of their life. He can recall every detail from age 11 on and most days between ages 7 and 11. He’s an ace at trivia and has won a bunch of restaurant gift certificates. You know, I think it’s people like him that are keeping me from winning at trivia, not that I’ll ever play again but… Something to Note Today, I don’t think I’ve pissed off any candidates for Governor in North Carolina or in any of the other 48 contiguous states in this country. I did have a Chick-fil-a sandwich though. Best 'Best Of' List This is a ‘best of’ list of the best ‘best of’ compilation albums. You know, greatest hits and stuff. A lot of my opinion of this list is colored by my individual preference of the band in question. I mean, if I don’t like, say, Prince, so I wouldn’t’ve put his compilation on my list. Anyway, it’s a fun list to look at. For REAL groups, like the Beatles (or solo artists like Bob Dylan), their greatest hits is a flyby that misses their best stuff because it only focuses on chart hits but for others, like, uh, Chuck Berry, his greatest hits album is the only thing you need. Which reminds me, I have Chubby Checker’s greatest hits, which didn’t make this list. Would you be surprised if I told you 'The Twist' is on there? Because it is, you know. What I Watched on Television Today I didn’t watch much today because I was busy finishing up packing. I did watch the start of a couple movies. I watched the beginning of ‘Evan Almighty’ before the urge to vomit overcame me. I watched another horrible movie that I couldn’t finish called ‘Next’ that starred Nicholas Cage and Julianne Moore. Cage could see two minutes into the future and blah, blah, blah. As for the packing, I probably should go to bed since the move starts before 8 in the morning. I’ll come back over the weekend to clean the apartment one last time in hopes of maybe getting the security deposit back (stop laughing). After that, I don’t think I’ll visit the Atlanta area ever again. Maybe to see a Braves game. I don’t know. What I’m Listening to on My Mp3 Player ‘See a Little Light’ by Bob Mould. Over at my sport’s site, every time I reference newly acquired Braves’ pinch hitter Greg Norton, I always mention Husker Du, because their bassist has the same name. Well, Husker Du broke up in 1988 and over the following year, Bob Mould, the group’s lead guitarist, hung out in a farmhouse, gave up drinking and drugs and put together the songs that comprised his first solo release, ‘Workbook,’ which featured ‘See a Little Light’ as the album’s fourth track. Mould had a couple other releases, formed another band called Sugar that had very limited success but did release the song ‘If I Can’t Change Your Mind.’ Sugar’s first live show was a secret event at the 40 Watt Club in Athens and they rehearsed for that show where REM practiced. Mould then joined the WCW (yes, as in wrestling) as a scriptwriter before going back in the studio again. I haven’t heard anything from him recently but his song ‘Dog on Fire’ (recorded by They Might Me Giants) is the theme song for ‘The Daily Show.’ Random Thoughts I didn’t turn the channel after Conan O’Brien went off and Carson Daly’s show came on and his guests sit to his left, which is the opposite of what most late night talk shows do. It’s making me feel sick. But it could be seeing Carson Daly. I don’t know. I’m tired of paragraph indentions. If I wanted indentions, I would’ve bought them with the binder clips. But I didn’t, so leave me alone about it. What would happen if Sir Mix-a-Lot joined Rage Against the Machine? To read my thoughts on sports, please visit http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright

Dwight as VP, Barr and Munger and Drunk Writing

Okay, so I’m still in the process of moving and I had my official ‘I’m moving out of here’ party and I bought beer and everything but nobody came, so that was disappointing (and it doesn’t bode well for my official ‘I’m moving in here’ party scheduled for this weekend). And because I’m moving in a few days, I want to have as little stuff to take with me as possible. So I’ve made it my mission to finish all the alcohol I have in the apartment, which has left me somewhat, uh, not totally sober. Usually, I don’t edit these posts for spelling, grammar or logic and I still won’t but if it seems there are more mistakes than usually, writing under the influence is probably the reason.

So, onto the topics:

A McCain/Schrute Ticket

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has announced his choice for running mate. It’s Dwight Schrute (?-PA). The announcement was made on the ‘Daily Show’ but I think it’s real. And it makes sense in a way. Given the currency situation, the dollar is close to being surpassed by the Schrute-buck.

An Obama/Clinton Ticket?

Remember how I wrote about the possibility of Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) being named Senator Barack Obama’s (D-IL) vice president? Remember how I said I didn’t see that happening? Remember? Maybe? No? Anyway, well, Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA) agrees with me. Carl Bernstein (the other half of Woodward and Bernstein) wrote an article for CNN about this subject that I deem worth reading.

Robert Novak had an article claiming that Michelle Obama, wife of one of the two candidates (guess which one) has shot down the idea of Clinton being the pick for her husband’s running-mate. Obama dismissed the story saying, “My wife does not talk to Bob Novak on a regular basis.” His communications director, Robert Gibbs added that the article should be set aside “in case of a toilet paper emergency.”

Novak also threw out the name of Governor Ted Strickland (D-OH), which is a name I hadn’t really thought about but he’d be a really good pick. He has strong crossover appeal, especially with some Christian voters, but he’s a Hillary Clinton supporter and campaigned heavily for her when she won Ohio.

Oh and one more thing on that topic, VoteBoth, one of the leading groups calling on an Obama/Clinton ticket, has been traced back to Clinton supporters and actually, of the leadership of the group, none are Obama people. Just something of note…or not. I don’t know.

Hillary: Guardian of the White Vote

In what might be one of the most shocking political statements I’ve heard from a major candidate, Hillary Clinton pointed to her white support as the reason superdelegates should subvert the will of the voters and select her as the party’s nominee. She actually used the term ‘white Americans.’ How many politicians would have made that statement, using those terms. I’m kinda surprised. Dividing the electorate even further along racial lines will only serve to damage the party.

This is an election that the Republicans have handed to the Democrats and the Democrats are almost saying, ‘No thanks.’ It’s completely crazy.

Obama Leads in Superdelegates

Obama has taken over the superdelegate lead for the first time, a category that early on, Clinton dominated. This development takes away one of the arguments from Clinton, since now Obama is leading in superdelegates, pledged delegates, popular vote and total states won. Clinton can now only argue that nebulous ‘I can beat McCain in the general election,’ as well as that she has been attacked enough times nothing will surprise voters and that she’s won the big states.

Mountain Man: 'Ain't He Be Muslim Folk?'

The polls are predicting large wins for Clinton in both West Virginia and Kentucky. And then I read this article about the way some West Virginians view Obama. “I heard that Obama is a Muslim and his wife’s an atheist,” said one of their people.

You know, it’s fair to question Obama’s positions on issues, specifically the statement he made at one debate where he said that the human rights of Pakistani citizens was more important than the national security of America. But when you peddle in rumors and carefully worded innuendo, democracy is done no favors and our country suffers. None of these three candidates are great choices for America and ultimately, most citizens, regardless of who they end up supporting, will vote for the lesser of evils. The least we can do is make sure we’re clear about the evils in question.

Hey, More Debates!

Obama says that if he’s the nominee, he’d be willing to debate McCain in a series of town hall gatherings. Which is great because the one thing this campaign needs is more debates. But damn it, if they actually air these things, I’ll watch every last one of them.

Three To Read

Obama accused McCain of “losing his bearings.” Of course, in fairness, McCain kept opening the closet during an interview while claiming he was hearing a doorbell. So, you know…

Here’s an article about Obama’s political arc and is something worth taking a look at.

Here’s a well-written article from Time about the seven ways McCain can beat Obama.

Barr Ready to Run

Former Representative Bob Barr has announced his intention to run to be the Libertarian Party’s nominee for president, joining former Senator Mike Gravel (who failed to be the Democratic nominee earlier this year). Barr left the Republican Party in 2006 and writes occasional opinion pieces for the Atlanta Journal Constitution. He’s hired Ross Perot’s former campaign manager, so this shows that Barr means business.

Now, in order for Barr to be his new party’s nominee to lose in November, he has to win the nomination process at the national convention next week. He’s considered a favorite by party leaders.

I went on the Libertarian website and found that a disproportionate number of candidates for the party have goatees. I don’t know what this means. Most disturbing though was this guy.



He’s Michael Munger and he would just love to be the next governor of North Carolina. The question is: Are the wonderful people of North Carolina ready for a governor that looks like he’s wearing a Bruce Vilanch wig? I mean, he looks like a little girl’s dolly.

My favorite part of Mr. Munger’s biography is this line: “[His family has] two large dogs of indecipherable pedigree.” Or in other words, a mutt. Is mutt a bad term now? Can we not say that anymore? Robert Lamutt used the word ‘mutt’ in a political campaign when he was running for Congress. Of course, he lost. Is that why? I’ll have to think on that.

As for Mr. Munger, he’s polling around 4% in the NC gubernatorial race.

Robert Kennedy Article

Speaking of politicians and hair…

I spent Mothers’ Day in Loganville with my mom and brother. I got to play (original) Nintendo and defeat my brother in several sports games in variously embarrassing ways. We all watched the first two Indiana Jones movies (I watched the third one earlier that day on USA). And I read an article about Robert Kennedy in a Vanity Fair my mom had bought earlier.

It was a fly-by of the start of his 1968 presidential campaign and while it carefully failed to tread new ground on the subject, it did have a lot of pictures I’d never seen and the one thing I was really struck by was how great Bobby’s hair was. And strangely, the more messed up it was, the better it looked. I’m not saying I would ever vote for someone because of their hair BUT if I were to do that, I think Bobby would’ve been the guy. However, his love of conversations, specifically his love to listen to other people’s private conversations might’ve been enough to make me think twice about supporting him. Of course, how much of that was really known in ’68, I don’t know.

Back to Bob Barr

Did I ever actually finish the thing on Bob Barr or did I get distracted by Munger’s mane?

Ron's Revolt

Supporters of Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) are plotting to do something at the Republican Convention that will embarrass the party, themselves and probably Dr. Paul himself. They call it a revolt. You know, I find his supporters to be frightening. Conspiracy theories are fun but they’re like ghost stories. You shouldn’t base an ideology on either one.

Are Evangelicals Evolving to Think On Their Own?

This article talks about a new group of young evangelical Christians that are abandoning the GOP. One student talks about the importance of not following James Dobson and instead looking at the individual issues. Really? You mean, think for yourself? Why would you want to do that for? It’s amazing that a group can say that might actually examine the issues and come up with a decision on their own and that’s newsworthy.

The last line of the article was kinda funny though: “I just keep thinking, if Jesus were alive now, he wouldn't necessarily be voting Republican.” Number one, this was a seminary student and there’s something oddly off about the theology of this statement that seems to undermine his apparent career choice. And second, of course Jesus wouldn’t vote Republican. He’d be over in Israel and would be voting in the Knesset elections.

Major Al Qaida Arrest?

Iraq has reported the capture of Abu Ayyub al-Masri, leader of Al Qaida in Iraq. Exciting news? Ah, not so much. Iraq has reported his death three separate times and his capture twice. The US is denying that the dude’s been captured this time just like they’ve denied the previous reports. Can Iraq do anything right? They’re kind of an embarrassment. I mean, even if we withdraw, Iraq’s success or failure will reflect on the US. If they can’t get capture/death reports right, how can they maintain a stable government? They can’t. You know, it makes me wonder what their weather reports are like. How accurate are those? “Abdul, you must stop forecasting snow every Thursday! It’s not going to snow!” “But I like Thursday and I want to make a snow angel.”

Burma News

Reportedly, the death toll in Burma following the recent cyclone could hit a half a million people, which to me, is hard to fathom (and is also probably inaccurate since most other estimates have the number much lower, though still staggering). Part of the problem is that the government is getting in the way of incoming aid from other countries, making it less likely that the people who need it will actually get it. There have been discussions about the United States bypassing the government and conducting air lifts directly to the people in need. Of course, it’s hard not to think of Somalia when thinking about a government preventing aid getting to their citizens.

Sharpton's Savings

Al Sharpton doesn’t think he should have to pay taxes. And I agree. I shouldn’t have to pay taxes either. Think Sharpton will come to my defense when I get hauled off to jail? Probably not. So I’m not going to defend him on his right not to pay taxes.

NOTE TO THE IRS: I paid my taxes. What I just wrote was simply a joke. It was not meant to be taken seriously. Fuck, man…I probably shouldn’t do any more jokes.

We Found Jane Doe!

I’ve never known anyone named Jane Doe but according to official Department of Defense records, there apparently is one and Rear Admiral John Stufflebeem fucked her…in the White House…after telling her that his wife had died of cancer. First, his name sounds like a joke, both his last name and his job title. Anyway, he’s been demoted and could be facing charges of lying to investigators. Stufflebeem, when not having his beam stuffled, was one of the main spokesmen during the initial days of the conflict in Afghanistan. If you saw his picture, you’d probably remember him

Get Farina

Actor Dennis Farina (who, if you don’t recognize the name, you’d recognize the face) was arrested at Los Angeles Airport after TSA found a gun in his carry-on baggage. He said he forgot it was there. It seems Mr. Farina was on his way to check the contents of a certain locker so he could get the money that funny looking guy owed him. I wonder if right before he was arrested, he turned around and became Harvey Keitel.

At Least They Can See

Burglars broke into a Buckhead Pearle Vision the other day and stole $150,000 worth of stuff. I think they’re pretty clever because I wouldn’t’ve thought to break into a place like that. I got new glasses a few weeks ago and given how expensive frames are, it’s surprising those places aren’t more of a target. Police are investigating to decide whether this group of burglars are the same ones who broke into a nearby Fatburger and stole a flat screen television. I had lunch at that Fatburger with my brother several months ago. I don’t know if he remembers that or not.

The Dumb One Died

A man committed suicide by jumping from his 11th floor balcony in a midtown apartment. He was upset after failing the GED and because he believed that he wasn’t as smart as his boyfriend, who also lived in the apartment. Not to be nasty but I’m going to go ahead and agree with the newly deceased guy, if for no other reason than the boyfriend didn’t jump after failing a test. But I don’t know. I never met either one.

Not Again!

A Sherpa is going to climb Mount Everest for the 18th time. ‘Hey, Sherpa-dude, maybe you think about climbing another mountain. Maybe you think about climbing Kilimanjaro or Mt. McKinley or Stone Mountain.’

What I Watched on Television Today

In addition to watching both games of the Braves’ doubleheader, I watched a documentary on the National Geographic called ‘Inside a Cult.’ As the title suggests, it’s about the inside of a cult. The amount of access the documentary crew had was absolutely incredible, though it shed little light on why people join to begin with. This cult, like many others, are splinter groups from another organized religion and it takes pieces of the Bible but interprets them in a way that is mainly beneficial to the leader himself.

Also, the other day, I watched Jay Leno and Harrison Ford was on there and I don’t know if he was drunk or on painkillers or what but he didn’t seem to be all there. Also on the show: Carly Simon. And she looked like she was lip synching some song that's destined for airplay at a dentist office in the near future. The worst part was that her head seems to have shrunk but her mouth is as large as ever. Two thirds of her face is mouth. It’s fuckin’ scary.

What I’m Listening to on My Mp3 Player

I’m listening to…Actually, I’m a little embarrassed to say what’s playing right now. I’ll say that it’s a Georgia band. I’ll say that they’re out of Stockbridge and the song is the seventh track off their fourth album. I like the song but am ashamed to admit it. Please forgive me.

Random Thoughts

I don’t usually watch commercials because I have a DVR and I’m a spoiled brat but I was watching a ‘live’ Seinfeld episode and a Chevy Malibu commercial came on and it featured ‘Lazy Eye’ by the Silversun Pickups. And maybe I’m overreacting a bit but I died a little on the inside.

I got my $600 rebate check direct deposited to my account the other day. I guess I should be thrilled but basically, once you do all the math on this thing, it’s a prepayment on next year’s tax refund.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Mockery is the sincerest form of mockery.


To read my thoughts on sports, please visit http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright

It's After 3am...Why Am I Doing This For?

Boring Coverage of the Race for the Right to Run in Another Race

After Tuesday’s primaries in North Carolina and Indiana, Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) is less than 180 delegates away from clinching the nomination. He narrowly lost Indiana, while winning NC by a huge margin. Overall, he picked up about 11 more delegates on the night than Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY).

More importantly, Clinton’s thin victory in Indiana did nothing to enhance her ‘electability’ argument, especially since she got blown out in North Carolina. Her staff has resorted to claiming that Obama actually needs to win 2,209 delegates as opposed to the 2,025 number that I’ve worked so hard to memorize. Their ‘logic’ is that Florida and Michigan’s delegates should be seated even though both states violated rules that her campaign had supported back when it was politically convenient to support those rules.

The exit polls are showing the continued trend of Clinton’s supporters threatening to not support Obama in the general election. While the threats will probably lack action on a large level, I do think there’s a better chance of Clinton’s supporters voting for Senator John McCain (R-AZ) than the one-fifth of Obama’s supporters who say they’ll vote for the Republican nominee if Clinton is selected by the superdelegates. My thought has been that most of Obama’s supporters just won’t show up on election day if he isn’t the nominee.

There are six contests remaining: West Virginia, Kentucky, Oregon, Montana, South Dakota and Puerto Rico. With the exception of Puerto Rico (and possibly West Virginia and maybe Kentucky), I tend to think Obama can win all of those primaries. And if Clinton can win any of those, it won’t be by enough of a margin to make much of a difference. It will come down to those superdelegates, and even though you shouldn’t count out a Clinton in a backroom fight, I just can’t believe they’ll override the popular vote and pledged delegate count.

Fun with Numbers

This is the greatest thing in the whole world. It’s a delegate counter that allows you to see what percentage of superdelegates each candidate would have to win in order to win the election based on the results of the remaining primaries. I’m not describing it that well but it’s definitely worth a look. Basically, it looks like Clinton is going to have to win about 80% of the remaining superdelegates and that seems extremely unlikely. Maybe if Clinton had access to this tool, she'd drop out. I don't know.

Show Him the Money!

And how great is the superdelegate system? Some fucking moron, Californian lawyer Steven Ybarra, who is also superdelegate, wants either Obama or Clinton to pay him $20 million for his vote. Yeah, what a great system.

Rush to Judgment

Rush Limbaugh, who was telling his Dittoheads to vote for Clinton to extend out the Democratic primary, has now decided that actually Obama is the weaker of the two candidates, thus the one easier to defeat in November. Senator John Kerry (D-MA) believes that Limbaugh is the one who pushed Clinton to victory in Indiana, “If it was not for Republicans taking Democratic ballots, [Obama] would have won.”

This is obviously pretty crazy since of the self identified Republicans (10% of the electorate), 46% supported Obama. The eight points she won out of a 10% bloc wouldn’t’ve considerably changed the outcome.

This past Sunday, Clinton said that Rush Limbaugh has always had a crush on her. Which led Jay Leno to say on Wednesday, “What is it with the Clintons and their magical power over chubby people? Chubby people can’t resist them!”

More bad news for Clinton

Before the Iowa caucuses, former Senator George McGovern (and one-time presidential candidate) supported Clinton. But he’s jumped ship now and has now endorsed Obama. I’m not being cynical but it does seem like McGovern doesn’t want to be backing a loser. He supported Clinton when she was a frontrunner and now that Obama is the frontrunner, McGovern has become ‘Obama Boy.’

Did his need to support a winner cause him to vote for Nixon in '72?

Dream Ticket: Take 112

ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, a former aide to former President Bill Clinton, is claiming that Hillary Clinton is negotiating for a spot on the ticket with Obama as vice-president. I think this is crazy. Number one: I find it somewhat hard to believe she would seek that position and second, I find it impossible to believe that Obama would agree to it. Would he really want someone THAT high profile as his number two? And would he want that number two to have Bill Clinton as a husband? I understand that Obama stands to lose some support from Clinton voters but if wins in November, the cost of having her as a vice-president might be too high to consider.

Hillary Better Than Bill?

This headline claims that Bill Clinton said that his wife would be a better president than he was. Then when you read the article, getting down to the very bottom, the actual quote is found. Earlier, his Chelsea Clinton had said that her mother would be a better president than her father and he said, “for this time in our history, I agree with my daughter.” That’s not the same thing as saying she’d be a better president than he was.

Last Thing About the Gas Tax Holiday...I Promise

More than 200 economists have signed a letter condemning Clinton and McCain’s plan to have a ‘Gas Tax Holiday.’ The number of economists that have come out in opposition to this haven’t deterred the two presidential candidates.

McCain attacked the group as basically being elitists, “Thirty dollars means nothing to a lot of economists -- I understand that. It means a lot to some low-income Americans.” That the $30 savings is likely to be counterweighted by an increase at the fuel pumps that will offset any savings wasn’t addressed by McCain, who had his economic credentials questioned throughout the Republican primary.

Clinton said, “I'm not going to put my lot in with economists.” You know, because when it comes to money, are you really going to trust someone who deals with numbers?

Several supports of all three candidates signed onto the letter.

Conservatives=Happy People?

Conservatives are happier than liberals according to a new study. This is largely because conservatives rationalize the inequalities that exist in the world. The study didn’t discuss moderates, so I don’t know whether I should be happy or sad.

Sniper Asks For Death

John Allen Muhammad, convicted DC Sniper, pulled a McVeigh (sorta) and has asked for his death row appeals be abandoned so Virginia “can murder this innocent Black man.” Now, most people who are claiming their innocence, don’t ask to be put to death. But then again, those who modify their 1990 Chevy Caprice to be able to sit in the trunk and shoot people while then speeding away…tend not to actually be innocent. “What? This car that you found me sleeping in…You think it’s mine? And this gun that matches the gun used at all the crime scenes…You think it’s mine too? You must be a racist.”

Speaking as someone who lived in the area at that time, the idea that both he and Lee Malvo haven’t already been executed is a miscarriage of justice. The fact that Malvo, the main triggerman in most of the shootings, was spared the death penalty is a further travesty. For Muhammad to turn this into a racial issue almost doesn’t deserve coverage.

And on to Sharpton

Al Sharpton was arrested during the recent protests in New York City following the Sean Bell shooting trial. Around 200 others protestors were also arrested after many of them were blocking traffic and otherwise making a nuisance. Sharpton claims this is about protecting civil rights but of course is violating the civil rights of drivers whose ‘crime’ was to be driving to work or wherever they happened to be going. But their civil rights don’t matter as much. And I realize there’s a difference between being shot/killed and being stuck in protest-related traffic but I really hate being in traffic and I think I’d rather be shot…so you know…

Sharpton wants to meet with New York Governor David Patterson (D-NY) but Patterson won’t see him…because he’s blind. Get it? Get it? The meeting is scheduled for Thursday. Remember when Sharpton used to always wear that jogging suit? Yeah, that was always pretty funny. I wish I had a jogging suit. I’d only wear it once probably but it would be a great day. I’d eat a hamburger and probably watch television. Oh, it’d be great.

Important Headlines

On my birthday, a new law will go into effect in Georgia that bans the sale of ‘Pot candy’ to minors. I hafta say, I’m not familiar with ‘Kronic Kandy’ and ‘Pot Suckers.’ Slight irony? The bill was pushed by State Senator Doug Stoner (D-Smyrna).

A study has come out showing how hard life is on the first born child. Indeed. I read the first half of the article and then I stopped due to a combination of boredom and illiteracy.

Packing Progress

I packed up my bedroom, bedroom closet and the bathroom. My storage closet and coat closet are already packed up. It looks like I just might be able to be ready to move after all. The move in date is unofficially a week from today. I just have the living area and kitchen left and I’ll be ready to go.

I have a strategy I use when packing. I pack for 10 minutes and then sit down and watch television. I then pack for 10 more minutes and then watch more television. It’s worked okay so far.

Why I Hate Birds

I went out to my car today and a bird apparently had decided to shit on my car. And I don’t mean a little bird turd. It was like a flying dog decided to take a dump on my car. It took up like half the window on the driver’s side. It was fuckin’ awful.

What I Watched on Television Today

In addition to the Braves game, I watched ‘Down in the Valley’ with Ed Norton. It wasn’t very good. Actually, I didn’t like it at all but I could watch him in pretty much anything. Except the ‘Illusionist’…and ‘The Painted Veil.’ Oh well…almost anything.

Right now, I have the television on mute and there’s an infomercial for some grants seminar about getting free money from the government or something and one of the pitchmen is former Representative JD Hayworth (R-AZ). The dude freaks the shit out of me. First of all, he’s funny looking. He’s one of those Republicans that came to office in the 1994 elections and he ran as one of those ‘I’m going to change Washington’ candidates and then was part of several financial scandals that included the Jack Abramoff/Indian casino thing and a scandal involving campaign payments to his wife. He’s a big mouth who says flamboyant things mainly so he can get his face on television. In his last campaign, which he lost in 2006, several Republican leaders in Arizona came out in support of the Democratic candidate because they didn’t like Hayworth. Now he apparently has his own radio show which will prevent you from seeing his funny face and oddly shaped head but you still will be tortured with his outlandish pronouncements.

As for the infomercial: It looks like a scam to me but surely the Honorable JD Hayworth wouldn’t be endorsing something of questionable integrity. Here’s a tip for you, don’t trust anyone who uses initials for a first name. If they don’t give you a full first name, they’re probably trying to trick you. Or they might be poor and can’t afford a ‘real’ name, which means you should be especially careful because they might try to steal yours.

Hey, is going from Congress to appearing on infomercials considered a downgrade?

What I’m Listening to on My Mp3 Player

I’m listening to a playlist of four albums that I just got (thanks to gift certificates I was given for being part of a special group of people): The National’s ‘Alligator,’ Bishop Allen’s two CD collection of EPs and the recently released ‘Pershing’ from Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin, a Missouri band that ranks somewhere between awesome and really awesome. The first album from SSLYBY featured the song ‘House Fire,’ which reminds me a little of Guster. Here’s the video for it and it’s a reminder that if you can ever find someone to race toy cars with, you should always be happy.



Final Thoughts

Lipozene commercials make me feel like I’m being asked to join a cult. And the worst part? I considered joining. I called the number and it turns out they’re selling a weight loss drug. Now, maybe I should’ve bought it but I say if it’s not a cult, I’m not interested.

I saw Steve Winwood sing on television. And I had Cap’n Crunch for breakfast the next day. Coincidence?

Thanks to POD, I now know that ‘story’ and ‘glory’ rhyme with each other.

For my coverage of the Atlanta Braves, please visit http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright.

The Reverend Returneth: Wright’s War

Just when you thought it was safe…Senator Barack Obama’s (D-IL) former pastor Jeremiah Wright resurfaced. When soundbites emerged last month that forced Obama to give a race relations speech, Rev. Wright was quiet but he gave an interview with Bill Moyers on PBS where he quietly and calmly defended himself. While this gave media outlets another chance to play the controversial clips, if it had ended there, the story would’ve died. Instead, Wright addressed the National Press Club (in an appearance that was arranged by a staunch Hillary Clinton supporter, making one wonder if this was part of a strategy to damage Obama). In his address (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6), he flamboyantly amplified his previous statements. Whereas the Bill Moyers’ interview didn’t hurt Obama, the National Press Club event did but it wasn’t nearly as bad as Wright’s appearance before the NAACP in Detroit (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, transcript). In both clips, he served to solidify the caricature that most people already see him as. Most of all, he further damaged Obama’s credibility.

Wright said, “[Obama] had to distance himself, because he's a politician, from what the media was saying I had said, which was [portrayed as] anti-American.” In another quote, he said, “If Senator Obama did not say what he said, he would never get elected. Politicians say what they say and do what they do based on electability, based on sound bites, based on polls.” Or in other words, Obama really does agree with me but he’s faking that he doesn’t so he can win an election. That kind of statement isn’t helpful to Obama. Surely Wright knows this.

Which raises the question: Is Wright doing this intentionally to hurt Obama? Is he mad at him because of the race speech given last month where he denounced some of Wright’s statements? Did he finally get tired of being called the crazy uncle of the family? Or maybe by watching America elect a black president, it undermines many of Wright’s negative beliefs about this country? I don’t know that the reason is but it’s certainly not helping Obama and Wright’s no idiot. He knows this is causing damage.

Conservative analyst, Michelle Malkin wondered, “Is he (Wright) working for the Hillary campaign?” Again, since the National Press Club event was put together by a Clinton supporter, it does raise that question. (Note: The Clinton campaign denies any involvement in that event)

Finally, enough was enough and Obama addressed the last few days of Wright’s various appearances. Anyone who’s watched Obama over the last year, could tell that he really seemed pissed off in this conference. “What particularly angered me was his suggestion somehow that my previous denunciation of his remarks were somehow political posturing.”



His words were sharp and pointed and represented a clear condemnation as opposed to last month’s attempt to distance himself from the remarks while at the same time explaining them.

And just more rain for Obama, Al Sharpton accused Obama of “grandstand[ing] in front of white people” in the aftermath of the Sean Bell murder case against the NYPD.

A C-SPAN Only Event

Clinton challenged Obama to a Lincoln-Douglas style debate. Under her rules, she would get to where a top hat and he would have to defend slavery extending into Missouri.

The Lincoln-Douglas debates didn’t have a moderator because Brian Williams hadn’t been born yet. Instead, the two men took turns speaking for blocks of time, the first candidate speaking for an hour, the second for an hour and a half and the first candidate concluded with a thirty minute response. I don’t know if this is really want Clinton has in mind or not but it could be the most boring three hours on television since my cable went out and it took me three hours to notice.

Good News for Hillary

North Carolina Governor Mike Easley (D-NC) has endorsed Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) as the state’s primary approaches. How much help any endorsement really provides is debatable but it certainly doesn’t hurt her to have it. Obama is favored to win in North Carolina, currently possessing a 10 point lead in the state. If Clinton can win there, it will be a notable upset.

Is Hillary Pulling for McCain

Dick Morris wrote a column suggesting that Clinton knows she can’t win and is just trying to drive up Obama’s negatives so he’ll lose in November and give her a chance to run again in 2012. If Obama were to win in November, she wouldn’t be able to run until 2016 when she’d be 69. Again, Dick Morris wrote this, so you have to consider the source on this one. I’m of the belief that she thinks winning a flurry of contests at the end will allow her to make an effective argument to superdelegates that she’s more electable that Obama. While it’s an uphill battle, I don’t think she’s still in this race to simply sabotage the Democratic Party for 2008.

Rove Advises Obama

Former Bush strategist, Karl Rove offered unsolicited advice to Obama in the form of a Newsweek column. It’s tempting to dismiss Rove because he just might be 80% evil but he’s also a brilliant political strategist and his ideas are worth at least considering.

Let Obama Eat His Damn Waffle

The Republican Party has put up this press release to attack Obama on choosing to eat breakfast instead of answering a question about former President Jimmy Carter meeting with Hamas. He asked the reporter who was interrupting him while eating, “Why can’t I just eat my waffle?”

Hey, just leave him alone and let him his eat his waffle. It’s a scientific fact proven each day at Waffle House that the goodness of a waffle decreases proportionally as the time the waffle remains uneaten. For the RNC to pick up on this is absurd. I know, this is what politics has devolved into but does Obama have to be available to answer questions every second of every day?

McCain, Inmates and Great Deals

In Homewood, Alabama, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) reportedly got quite a deal when his campaign set up a fundraiser. He was given an 80% discount off the full price and inmates in the local jail were provided to set up tables and chairs. When a Democratic fundraiser was held last year (and the year before), they were charged the full rates.

Jim Croce v. Alergies

I was catching up on television I had missed being down in Savannah because I’m that combination of obsessive and retarded known as, uh…Obsessive Retarded. So I was watching Conan O’Brien with Tina Fey and a commercial came on for Zyrtec.

The pitchwoman opens the ad saying, “You know that song, ‘Time in a Bottle’? Well, I got time in a bottle…just by changing my allergy medicine from Claritin to Zyrtec. Zyrtec’s a lot faster.”

You hafta wonder whether they’re required to pay Jim Croce’s estate for the reference. I bet they didn’t. I think that song’s been played in a commercial before but I can’t remember the product. But the thing that really struck me about this was how random the reference was. I mean, if it’s faster than Claritin, then fine, say it’s faster but to name check a song from the early 70s…I don’t know.

But it got me to thinking, what other songs could be used this way, you know without playing the song but making a reference to it in the commercial.

“You know that song, Magic Carpet Ride? Well, at Carpets of Dalton, all our carpets are magic and we’re a short ride from Atlanta.”

“You know that song, You Can’t Always Get What You Want? Well, when you try Target, you just might find get what you need.”

“You know that song, With a Little Help From My Friends? Well, with Bulldog Movers, you won’t need any help from your friends.”

“You know that song, Highway to Hell? Well, with a new Lexus, even the drive to Hell will feel heavenly.”

“You know that song, Have You Ever Seen the Rain? Well, after getting Lasik, you’ll be able to see the rain. Each and every drop of it.”

Jesus’ Assassination Threat

A teenager told police that he wanted to die so that he could go to heaven and kill Jesus. God heard about the threats and now St. Peter and St. Paul have been assigned to protect Jesus for a time yet to be determined.

Cruise Returns to the Couch

Tom Cruise is scheduled to appear on Oprah’s show this Friday and the following Monday. The two dates are great because that will allow him to apologize on Monday for whatever strange thing he did on Friday. The first show will be taped at Cruise’s home in Colorado because his couches are already reinforced so that he can jump on them for hours at a time.

A Frosty with Your Roast Beef Sandwich

“Wendy’s, Arby’s parent will merge.” This is like when your dad is about to marry this new strange lady is smells like bacon and onions and you keep saying that you won’t talk so much if he doesn’t marry her because you don’t like bacon and onions. But he says that it’s best for everyone but you know it’s not best for everyone. And no matter how many times you chant ‘bacon and onions,’ ‘bacon and onions,’ ‘bacon and onions,’ it just doesn’t matter. Damn you, Wendy’s. Damn you indeed.

Side note, Dave Thomas’ daughter, Pam Thomas said that her late father “would not be amused” by the takeover. Of course, taking the company public opens up these kinds of sales and that was a decision Thomas had made…even if Pam thought it smelled like bacon and onions.

Cows Say: Eat Mor Peetsa

Truett Cathy, founder and CEO of Chick-fil-a, has opened a pizza restaurant in Fayetteville. I’m not sure how good the pizza would be but I’d be willing to give it a shot if I were ever in the area. When asked if he was going to step down as CEO of Chick-fil-a, he answered, “Why would I? I’m only 87.” And the cows have told him he’s going to live to be at least 149.

He did make one good point though in the article. Hot dogs really are kind of underappreciated, you know, in the way that you might appreciate something but not as much as you should appreciate that something, thereby not appreciating enough.

Barry McGuire Would Be Thrilled

A study shows that humans faced extinction 70,000 years ago, only to be saved when the California Condor added us to the endangered species list until we increased in number enough to then threaten their existence. I don’t know, these kinds of studies are released every now and then and it’s not very clear to me what data they’re looking at and it just leaves me kinda skeptical about the whole thing. Not that it matters but…

Important Headlines

Cindy Sheehan is running against Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) if she can collect almost 11,000 signatures by August 8th. The signatures must come from within the district, unlike the money she’s raised, the great bulk of $100,000 apparently coming from outside San Francisco.

The price of rice is increasing and according to this article, it’s possible that several governments could fall, especially if their country’s currency is actually rice.

Shirley Temple broke her arm last week, which is good and bad news for her. Obviously, breaking your arm sucks but I thought she was dead, so breaking her arm proves she’s alive. The 80 year old former child star should think of it that way. By breaking her arm, she proved to me that she’s still alive.

As has been allegedly long rumored, alleged actor Jimmy Fallon will allegedly be replacing Conan O’Brien when Conan allegedly takes over ‘The Tonight Show.’ The alleged Jimmy Fallon is allegedly 5 foot 11. Allegedly.

My Two Attempts to Pee

At the doctor’s office, I had to provide a urine sample and when the nurse gave me the cup, I asked, “Can we also check to make sure I’m not pregnant because I haven’t had my period in, like, forever?” She just stared blankly at me. I went into the bathroom and was given two minutes to pee. The door was unlocked and she would come in after me when those two minutes were up. I just kept staring at my watch, waiting for the door to open. I ended up not going at all. It was awful. I was given a three hour window to go again but a second failed attempt would count as a failed test. I wasn’t allowed to leave the building and had to drink water in a lobby filled with people making annoying noises. There was heavy sigher, lip smacker, business card flicker and loud baby. It was horrible.

I drank over a gallon of water and at one point, my hands started to shake and I felt like I was going to vomit. I was convinced that I was about to die of water poisoning. I was called back again, and ran through the same set of instructions as before. I had two minutes. Unlocked door. Wasn’t allowed to flush. I had to empty out my pockets and everything. I went back in the bathroom and…Again, I stared at my watch, waiting for the door to swing open. And then I started to pee and I was relieved. At the same time, I was embarrassed that it took two attempts. I gave the cup back to the nurse and said, “This pee’s for you,” you know like those old Bud commercials but I didn’t really sell the line and it didn’t get a laugh. Oh well…

What I Watched on Television

I watched Pardon the Interruption today, which didn’t win an Emmy. I wasn’t aware it was up for one but Tony seemed really upset about the whole thing and I feel bad for him. I bet those extended summer breaks and Dan LeBatard’s guest appearances hurt them. I’m taping the Braves’ game right now and will start watching that in just a second.

What I’m Listening to On My Mp3 Player

Arctic Monkeys’ ‘Mardy Bum’ off their first album. This is sometimes my favorite song from ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not’ but other times it’s not. Some people think that their most recent release, ‘My Favorite Worst Nightmare’ is a step back and maybe on some level it is but I was expecting a serious letdown and it while it wasn’t as good as their first effort, it was still pretty solid. They’re working off and on with their third album which is likely to come out in 2009.

Lead singer Alex Turner has been working with Miles Kane of the Rascals and the two released ‘The Age of the Understatement’ under the group name The Last Shadow Puppets. Their sound is more theatrical and overstated. I wasn’t hugely impressed with what I’ve heard from them. As for Kane, he played guitar on ‘505,’ the last song on the Arctic Monkeys’ last album, which is a great track.

Random Thoughts

Radio Free Europe was the victim of a cyberattack this past weekend. Where’s REM when you need them?

I find the new Reese’s ad campaign to be kinda disturbing. I’m looking at Peanut Butter cups in a way that probably isn’t 100% appropriate.

I don't think I'm ever going to drink water again. I tried to never pee again but after drinking over a gallon of water in less than an hour, I actually spent most of the afternoon doing just that.

The World According to Savannah

So, I'm in Savannah right now in a business center that is hot and smells funny. My brother is upstairs, I guess still asleep or maybe wondering where the hell I am. I just finished having the hotel's 'hot breakfast,' which is better described as lukewarm. Nothing says yummy than a bowl of Fruit Loops while watching two bugs climb the wallpaper that's been secured to the wall with a series of staples.

I'll be heading back to Atlanta tomorrow morning and I can't wait to be back.

Touring SCAD

As previously mentioned, my brother was accepted into Savannah College of Art and Design and we came down here to look at what exactly accepted him. The lasting memory that stays with me from Thursday's visit was when we went to the Fashion Hall, which is no doubt named for a rich donor...Richard Fashion, and there were two labs, each with three tables and students were working behind glassed in windows so we could see them. It was something like visiting a zoo of Fashionistas. 'Observe the creature in their natural habitat. See the slightly fake smile and upturned nose of disgust.'

The tour lasted over two hours, which was a problem because I parked in a meter that only allowed me to put two hours of quarters in the meter so as soon as the bus (excuse me, shuttle), stopped, my brother went in to meet with an advisor and I ran (and I mean actually ran) to the car to see if I had a ticket. Thankfully, I did not. But I was tired from running.

Did my brother find what he was looking for? I don't know. I know that he had a lot of stuff to write about in his journal though. Every time we take a trip somewhere, he spends most of his time writing. Actually, there are two parts of any trip he goes on...the time where he's away from his journal and the time when he's writing about being away from his journal. It's like the journal has asked him, "Why haven't you been with me lately?" and he has to explain in detail why he had left the thing behind. I say that's a pretty demanding little journal.

And Then...Dinner

I was looking through the phone book to find something to eat last night and I saw a restaurant that offered a personal gormet chef. And what would I eat if I could order anything I wanted? I'd tell that chef to "Gormet me some Sloppy Joes."

Finally, I talked my brother into going to a Mexican restaurant. He was hesitant but I told that if I was such a picky eater and I was willing to eat there, how bad could it be? With an argument like that, he had to agree. But the first place we tried was closed down and the second place looked like a converted gas station. We ended up settling on a steak place and my GPS led me into a neighborhood. I thought maybe it was trying to get me to cut through but no, we stopped at the house of Jim and Nancy Powell. I told them we were there for the steak but they acted like I was crazy and said they were going to call the Cops. I said that if the Cops were good people, they were welcome to join the dinner. We could all play charades and it'd be a great time.

We left the Powells behind and went to Western Sizzlin, which I thought had all been closed down along with Sizzler and Quincys. I ordered a steak and when it arrived, it was a cheap piece of meat and looked like it had barely been cook. I like rare steak but this was almost dangerous looking. I ate it anyway and it wasn't 15 minutes later that I started feeling sick. We rushed back to the hotel and I threw up the dinner. I had mixed feeling about vomiting it all back up. On the one hand, it was like a waste of money and I hate throwing up. On the other hand, I felt like I had an eating disorder and that made me feel fashion chic.

My Walker, Texas Ranger Story

I got caught up watching Walker Thursday morning and I learned several things. First no one, and I truly mean no one, can maintain a single facial expression longer than Chuck Norris. Every time he was on screen, it was a bowl of awesomy goodness. The only thing that would've made it better is if he'd said, "I'm loving me some Huckabee." That would've been too much to handle.

The plot of the episode was that he had taken a hit to the head and suffered amnesia. The only way to recover is to take another shot to the head. That's a scientific fact that's been proven time and again on cartoons throughout history.

My favorite scene was when he looked deeply into a mirror and asked, "Who are you?" I actually felt inspired. But it got better. He punched the mirror, shattering it like he was Rick Springfield in 'Jessie's Girl."

I turned the channel after it went to commercial and forgot to change it back. I found Pat Robertson condemning Rev. Jeremiah Wright for being a preacher who says controversial things. That's kinda like the pot calling the kettle black...WAIT! That came out wrong.

‘The Dream Ticket’ Concept Could Be Nightmare

There’s been some talk about Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) and Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) sharing the same ticket and while that seemed kind of absurd when Clinton floated that idea a couple months ago but it’s downright ridiculous now. There’s so much animosity between the two candidates that I don’t think either one could live with a dual ticket situation.

The only way it would even be proposed in a way that would make sense is if he’s the President and she’s the Vice President, and there’d always be a perceived power struggle throughout the term(s) they served together. And since Bill Clinton feels the Obama campaign has painted him as a racist, it seems even less likely this is a possibility. I found a good article though that talks about why it’s not going to happen. I mean, there’s a reason the Founding Fathers quickly reversed course on Article II, Section 1, Clause 3 by creating the Twelfth Amendment. Having rivals occupy the Executive Branch is rife with problems.

More Clinton News

Former President Bill Clinton told the Washington Post that if the Democrats used the Republican Primary system, his wife would be winning. The Democrats award delegates on a proportional basis whereas Republicans give out delegates as ‘winner-take-all,’ more similar to the Electoral College.

You know, one of the complaints Obama has raised has been that Hillary Clinton is using Republican style attacks and now the Clinton campaign is saying that if the Democrats would just adopt Republican rules, they’d be winning. I’m not sure if this is the wisest strategy to go with right now.

Some People Don’t Approve of President Bush

As first reported in this space, there are subtle signs that America might be turning against President George W. Bush. I read a good article on the approval ratings and trends with this president that I thought was worth reading. The arc of his presidency is nothing short of remarkable and I felt this article did a good job of looking at that path.

For what it’s worth, and it’s not worth much, but Bush has successfully obtained the worst disapproval ratings in the history of the Gallup Poll, which is impressive. I mean, some aspire to be bad but others take the next step and become the worst.

I like reading these polls though because they have stats like this: 27% view this administration to be a success. What? I’m hesitant to throw around titles like ‘the worst’ but under what qualifications has he been a success?

Mugabe and the Recount

Zimbabwe still hasn’t announced a president following the March 29th election, which the opposition party appeared to have won but following recounts, it’s now looking like Mugabe can claim victory in at least one district, just outside the capital. Oh, what a shocker. Did Jimmy Carter go over there to monitor this election or was he playing pinochle with Khaled Meshaal and other Hamas leaders?

Al-Qaida Upset With Iran

Recently, Iran’s Foreign Minister stood behind President Mahmoud Ahmadinejed’s previous statements questioning the official account of the September 11th attacks. It cast doubt that al-Qaida was really responsible and whether nearly 3,000 people actually died. This should be no surprise from a country that doubts the existence of the Holocaust but one group is offended by Iran’s statements…al-Qaida.

In newly released audiotape, Ayman al-Zawahri, deputy of Osama Bin Laden, condemned Iran’s position. No official word on al-Qaida’s view on those ‘9-11 Truthers.’

Osama v. Obama

Presidential candidate Barack Obama’s last name, if you haven’t noticed is one letter away from Osama. Some individuals (including Obama supporters) and media outlets have accidentally referred to the Senator as Osama and many critics have made references to the terrorist leader intentionally. And now, there’s a church in South Carolina with a sign out in front that reads: “Obama, Osama, hmm, are they brothers?”

Pastor Roger Byrd said the sign isn’t political or racial but “It's simply to cause people to realize and to see what possibly could happen if we were to get someone in there that does not believe in Jesus Christ.” What exactly does ‘in there’ mean but the White House or the office of President and if that’s the case, how’s that not political? Shit like this will continue to happen as long as the IRS doesn’t crack down on churches making political statements by revoking their tax exempt status when they violate the law. For far too long, churches (on both sides of the political aisle) have flirted with making political statements or endorsements of one party or candidate over another, some more egregious than others and it really is something that needs to be stopped. The federal government is essentially paying churches (and some other non-profit groups as well) to propagate political viewpoints in a way that appears to be a violation of the law.

When Pastor Byrd was asked if Obama was a Muslim, he said, “I don't know. See it asks a question: Are they brothers? In other words, is he Muslim ? I don't know. He says he's not. I hope he's not. But I don't know.” After Obama’s situation with Pastor Jeremiah Wright and Trinity United Church of Christ, I kinda thought (mistakenly) that the ‘Obama is a Muslim’ conversation would die down but…

Seamless Transition from Osama/Obama News to Miley Cyrus

There’s urgent news regarding Miley Cyrus of ‘Hannah Montana’ fame, daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus, of ‘Achy Breaky Heart’ fame. She’s signed a deal to write her memoirs for Disney-Hyperion Books. Which begs the question, how many memories can she have to report on having been on this specific planet for 15 years, the first five years likely being rather fuzzy in her memory?”

Hasselhoff v. Alleged Surgery

David Hasselhoff, the most famous person with the last name Hasselhoff to ever appear in both ‘Knight Rider’ and ‘Baywatch’ reportedly went to the hospital to have something removed from above his eye, though his spokesperson declined to say what was removed, other than denying he had been admitted to rehab. Why do things like this always happen to the Hoff? I mean, he chose to eat a hamburger topless while on the floor and the media made a big deal about it. Paris Hilton chose to eat a hamburger while washing a car. The way we choose to eat our hamburgers is no one’s business. When are we all going to learn not to Hassle the Hoff? When? This is the guy who singlehandedly brought down the Berlin Wall. Show some fucking respect!

Is Larry King Still Alive?

The CNN anchor voted most likely to be an Animatronic Disney ride creation just signed on for another two years at CNN, a deal that will keep him on air until he’s 77. Honestly, I thought Larry King was already 86.

A Victory for the Blind

A blind man was able to overpower a home intruder. How dumb does that intruder have to feel? ‘I got taken down by a blind man. This is worse than when I got the shit beat out of me by the 12 year old with Down Syndrome.'

What I Watched on Television Last Night

I watched 'The Office,' 'Scrubs' and '30 Rock.' Because this room is like a sauna and I just want to get out before I die of a severe case of hot, I don't want to take too much time on this. All of the episodes were below average. Dwight's hobbitt comment was funny. I liked Kelso in 'Scrubs' but the other subplots were forgettable. And '30 Rock' works better at 8:30 than at 9:30.

What is Playing on my Mp3 Player

Well, I'm in a room that is trying to kill me to death...which is very deadly from what I read, so I don't have an Mp3 player going right now. But last night, I tried to introduce my brother to Bishop Allen. He wasn't impressed. He seemed a little more interested in Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. Boris Yeltsin is dead. He probably spent too much time in a hotel business center listening to a guy deal with his insurance issue on the phone.

Random Thoughts

I’ve decided that I’m going to become an expert on a subject so that when someone says, “Hey I have a question about (BLANK), I should ask DJ because he knows all about that subject.” And I’ve decided that subject will be Phil Collins. I’m gonna learn everything about Phil Collins so I can be a Phil Collins expert.

Illegal immigrants get all the assistance they want' has become the new 'They can put a man on the moon but…'

I was watching 'The Colbert Report' last night and I realized that I missed Marie's Colbert Stare a lot more than I thought I would.

I guess scientists really do have everything down to a science

How special do I have to be to be able to drive in the emergency lane just because traffic is backed up?

Election Coverage

Before going into the election coverage, I want to share the greatest video in the history of the world.



Wildly Popular 'Iron Man' Trailer To Be Adapted Into Full-Length Film


How awesome is that? Okay, back to our regularly scheduled boredom...

Pennsylvania Democratic Primary Coverage

As most people had expected, Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) defeated Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) in the Pennsylvania primary. She won 55% to 45% with almost all the precincts reporting, picking up 14 more than Obama earned, making this a win for Clinton but not really enough to significantly close the gap. We can expect Obama’s campaign to release another super delegate endorsement or two after this to blunt the news of the loss while claiming victory in that he ONLY lost by about 10 percentage points instead of by 25 points.

Obviously, a win is better than a loss, and Clinton couldn’t have afforded to lose this race. That said, there are some alarming numbers in the exit polls (though the accuracy of such polls are questionable).

The average voter who turned out in Pennsylvania was a white woman in her 50s, which is right in Clinton’s wheelhouse. Women accounted for nearly 60% of the electorate and Clinton won the group by 14 points. Voters older than 45 made up 68% of those who cast a ballot and they went solidly for Clinton. Obama continued his strong showing with black voters, winning 89%, though they only made up 14% of the turnout. Among blacks who said race was not a factor in choosing their candidate, 91% voted for Obama.

Philadelphia went largely for Obama while more rural areas went for Clinton. Gun owners, while a distinct minority in this primary, were more likely to support Clinton. Obama had a higher ‘trust-worthiness’ factor than Clinton, though 37% of voters consider both candidates to be trustworthy. Obama did better the more liberal a voter was, though he also did better among registered independents, which seems to be somewhat of a contradiction. Five percent of voters who cast a ballot in the race had been registered Republicans in January and Obama won their vote by eight points over Clinton.

It doesn’t look like the ‘bitter voters’ and ‘elitist’ charges had much, if any, effect on the race. Identical percentages found Clinton and Obama to be ‘in touch’ with voters and 40% found both candidates to be ‘in touch.’ What ‘in touch’ means, well, I don’t know.

Twenty-six percent of voters said they would be dissatisfied if Clinton were the Party’s nominee whereas 35% said they wouldn’t be satisfied if Obama were the nominee. Forty percent said they’d be satisfied with either candidate. If Clinton won the nomination, 7% of Obama supporters said they would vote for McCain, while 6% said they wouldn’t vote. If Obama were the nominee, 14% of Clinton voters would support McCain and 10% claimed they wouldn’t vote at all. I don’t put too much stock in this question but it does show a contentious group of voters and if just half followed through on their threats, it could create a significant enough swing to give McCain a victory over a fractured party.

There are seven more states and two territories left and just over 300 super delegates up for grabs. The next election is May 6 in Indiana and North Carolina and I would expect both states to go to Obama. (There are four delegates riding on Guam on May 3 but to gain an advantage in delegates there, by my math, you’d have to win 64% of the votes which isn’t going to happen, so both candidates will split the delegates evenly at two apiece). The week after Indiana/North Carolina, an election will be held in West Virginia (which I would think would favor Obama) and the week after will feature a contest in Kentucky (which I would also expect Obama to win) and Oregon (which I think Clinton will win). After May 20th, he could be a hundred delegates shy of clinching the nomination. Clinton needs to win at least two of the states that seem to naturally favor Obama.

The Democratic Primary ends with races in Puerto Rico (a narrow victory for Clinton) on June 1st and the final election date is June 3rd with contests in South Dakota and Montana, both narrowly seem to favor Obama, leaving him with about 1,968 delegates to Clinton’s 1,827. The super delegates will then be in a position to crown the nominee by either going along with the popular vote or going out on their own, sorta like Family Feud when the other family tries to steal the bank. Clinton will need to win over 70% of the super delegates if she is unable to win any of the remaining states other than Oregon. The math still looks very bad for Clinton at this point.

Bill Clinton v. The Race Card....v. Bill Clinton

On Monday, former President Bill Clinton gave an interview with radio station WHYY in which he accused the Obama campaign of plotting and carrying out attempts to “play the race card” against the former president. The incident specifically in question is the statement Clinton made after his wife lost the primary in South Carolina. On January 26, 2008, he said, “Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in '84 and '88. Jackson ran a good campaign. And Obama ran a good campaign here.”

All campaigns play to manage expectations and the campaign for Hillary Clinton had been minimizing the importance of South Carolina going into the primary and continued to minimize it after the loss. I took Bill Clinton’s comment to mean: ‘Because Obama is black, and South Carolina’s Democratic Party primary has a large number of black voters, it’s to be expected that a black candidate would have a built in advantage in that state.’

Some took the statements, understandably when viewed in a greater context of other comments, to be a marginalization of Barack Obama and in so doing, driving a wedge between black and white voters. I understood the comment to further ‘excuse’ his wife’s loss, which is something all campaigns, including Obama’s, do on a regular basis (which is why his campaign announced going into the Tuesday primary that , “Pennsylvania is considered a state tailor-made for Hillary Clinton, and by rights she should win big” and threw out there that she was leading by 25 points at one point, suggesting that anything short of a complete blowout by Clinton would be tantamount to a loss). There aren’t too many losses this primary season where a candidate has stood up and said, ‘Look, I fucked up and, you know, the voters picked the other candidate and I lost.’

The interesting part of the interview with Bill Clinton came at the very end after he said goodbye but before he hung up when he can be heard saying (apparently to someone with him), “I don’t think I should take any shit from anybody on that, do you?” It’s worth a listen, especially since now he’s claiming the interview never happened.

New York Times v. Negativity

For those who think Hillary Clinton is starting to sound a little too Republican, with her defense of gun rights, threats to “obliterate” Iran and her use of 9-11 to win votes, the New York Times agrees. Does this article count as an un-endorsement of Clinton?

Make Them All Go Away…Please

Remember when you could watch wrestling or game shows without seeing people running for president? Well those days are gone as Hillary Clinton, John McCain and Barack Obama appeared ‘American Idol,’ ‘WWE Wrestling,’ among other shows not on traditional news outlets. President George W. Bush made an appearance on ‘Deal or No Deal.’ At first, I thought it was kinda funny but no more. I don’t want these people invading shows I don’t watch to begin with.

The New York Times had a good article about the subject that can be found here.

Comprehensive Coverage of the Republican Primary

Some might think that the race on Republican side is wrapped up but…well, it is but there are still elections anyway and while John McCain swept the state, winning 73% of the vote and coming in first in every county, Ron Paul finished second. His 16% showing was his best outing in a primary contest, although he has performed better in caucus states, finishing in second twice and collecting at least 16% of the vote five times.

This concludes the comprehensive coverage of the Republican Primary.

Global Warming News

Tuesday was Earth Day and former Vice President Al Gore said, “I have to say the situation has not improved since I made the movie (An Inconvenient Truth) in 2006.” I guess the only thing to do is to buy more copies of the DVD and see if that makes global warming go away.

In other news, mutants are still no more accepted in our society than they were in 2006 when X-Men: The Last Stand came out. Sometimes, you just hafta wonder whether movies even make a difference.

It’s Snowing on CNN

Former White House Press Secretary Tony Snow is joining CNN’s self-proclaimed ‘Best Political Team’ as a conservative analyst. Snow used to work with FOX News for years but was a fill-in host on CNN’s Crossfire before that. He also worked as a speechwriter with former President George H.W. Bush.

Alien News

There are two articles about strange lights appearing over Phoenix, Arizona and St. Augustine, Florida. Both sets of lights are supposedly UFOs. Then Stephen Hawking announced that alien life, in a primitive form, probably exists but that it’s unlikely to be really advanced intelligent life. I don’t know, judging by my recent trip to the mall, I think the extent of intelligent life on this planet might be a little overstated.

Hawking questioned UFO sightings, saying, “We don't appear to have been visited by aliens. Why would they only appear to cranks and weirdoes?” I don’t know, former President Jimmy Carter was pretty convinced he saw a UFO, when he wasn’t fending off giant killer rabbits.

Gas Watch

I went to the gas station and the price of gas -- $3.65 for a gallon of unleaded. I also learned that a gallon of milk costs $3.87. So I guess it’s good that cars run on gas, not on milk.

What’s Playing On My Mp3 Player Right Now

‘Small Wonders’ by Dog’s Eye View off their ‘Happy Nowhere’ album. This was the second single off the disc, following the hit ‘Everything Falls Apart.’ On some level, I like this song better but it’s not as radio friendly and it didn’t chart, basically spelling the end of the group. They released a decent second album, ‘Daisy’ and then lead singer Peter Stuart left the band. He released ‘Propeller,’ which I bought in Denver for about $4 at an awesome used CD store. It was actually a really good record but he hasn’t (to my knowledge) released anything else. Dog’s Eye View, however, did release another album but I didn’t listen to it because there’s an ancient saying in Mongolia: “Dog’s Eye View without Peter Stuart isn’t truly Dog’s Eye View.”

What I’m Eating Right Now

I’m not actually eating right now but I’m thinking about it. I might eat or I might not. Mainly I’m just frustrated with my wireless keyboard. But that has nothing to do with eating…or does it?

What I’ll Be Watching Tonight

I’m heading down to Savannah with my brother to visit Savannah College of Art and Design now that he’s been accepted there. So I don’t know if I’ll watch much. I might go to a movie, maybe see ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall.’ The Braves open a series against the Marlins. On Thursday, ‘The Office,’ ‘30 Rock’ and ‘Scrubs’ comes on but I’m not too thrilled with any of them this season.

Sports News

I forgot to include a picture I took of Vince Dooley at the Braves game Sunday. He was either being awarded something or was part of a group awarding something to a pack of dwarves, or maybe they were kids. I don’t know all the details because I kept yelling, “Herschel” at him over and over.



For actual coverage of sports, including John Smoltz notching his 3,000th career strikeout, check out http://www.sportingnews.com/blog/djwright.

Random Thoughts

People who drive stick shifts are 34% happier than those who can only drive an automatic.

Headline: 'Teacher Forces Student to Urinate in Lunchbox.' What? Like you have a better idea?

In 40 years, according to Ted Turner, we'll be cannibals. Some people have a head start on that.

What if Ben Affleck was a plumber? You’d be, like, “Hey, my sink or pipes are busted and I need a plumber. I should call Ben Affleck. He’s a plumber, you know.” It’d be awesome.