The Reverend Returneth: Wright’s War

Just when you thought it was safe…Senator Barack Obama’s (D-IL) former pastor Jeremiah Wright resurfaced. When soundbites emerged last month that forced Obama to give a race relations speech, Rev. Wright was quiet but he gave an interview with Bill Moyers on PBS where he quietly and calmly defended himself. While this gave media outlets another chance to play the controversial clips, if it had ended there, the story would’ve died. Instead, Wright addressed the National Press Club (in an appearance that was arranged by a staunch Hillary Clinton supporter, making one wonder if this was part of a strategy to damage Obama). In his address (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6), he flamboyantly amplified his previous statements. Whereas the Bill Moyers’ interview didn’t hurt Obama, the National Press Club event did but it wasn’t nearly as bad as Wright’s appearance before the NAACP in Detroit (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, transcript). In both clips, he served to solidify the caricature that most people already see him as. Most of all, he further damaged Obama’s credibility.

Wright said, “[Obama] had to distance himself, because he's a politician, from what the media was saying I had said, which was [portrayed as] anti-American.” In another quote, he said, “If Senator Obama did not say what he said, he would never get elected. Politicians say what they say and do what they do based on electability, based on sound bites, based on polls.” Or in other words, Obama really does agree with me but he’s faking that he doesn’t so he can win an election. That kind of statement isn’t helpful to Obama. Surely Wright knows this.

Which raises the question: Is Wright doing this intentionally to hurt Obama? Is he mad at him because of the race speech given last month where he denounced some of Wright’s statements? Did he finally get tired of being called the crazy uncle of the family? Or maybe by watching America elect a black president, it undermines many of Wright’s negative beliefs about this country? I don’t know that the reason is but it’s certainly not helping Obama and Wright’s no idiot. He knows this is causing damage.

Conservative analyst, Michelle Malkin wondered, “Is he (Wright) working for the Hillary campaign?” Again, since the National Press Club event was put together by a Clinton supporter, it does raise that question. (Note: The Clinton campaign denies any involvement in that event)

Finally, enough was enough and Obama addressed the last few days of Wright’s various appearances. Anyone who’s watched Obama over the last year, could tell that he really seemed pissed off in this conference. “What particularly angered me was his suggestion somehow that my previous denunciation of his remarks were somehow political posturing.”



His words were sharp and pointed and represented a clear condemnation as opposed to last month’s attempt to distance himself from the remarks while at the same time explaining them.

And just more rain for Obama, Al Sharpton accused Obama of “grandstand[ing] in front of white people” in the aftermath of the Sean Bell murder case against the NYPD.

A C-SPAN Only Event

Clinton challenged Obama to a Lincoln-Douglas style debate. Under her rules, she would get to where a top hat and he would have to defend slavery extending into Missouri.

The Lincoln-Douglas debates didn’t have a moderator because Brian Williams hadn’t been born yet. Instead, the two men took turns speaking for blocks of time, the first candidate speaking for an hour, the second for an hour and a half and the first candidate concluded with a thirty minute response. I don’t know if this is really want Clinton has in mind or not but it could be the most boring three hours on television since my cable went out and it took me three hours to notice.

Good News for Hillary

North Carolina Governor Mike Easley (D-NC) has endorsed Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) as the state’s primary approaches. How much help any endorsement really provides is debatable but it certainly doesn’t hurt her to have it. Obama is favored to win in North Carolina, currently possessing a 10 point lead in the state. If Clinton can win there, it will be a notable upset.

Is Hillary Pulling for McCain

Dick Morris wrote a column suggesting that Clinton knows she can’t win and is just trying to drive up Obama’s negatives so he’ll lose in November and give her a chance to run again in 2012. If Obama were to win in November, she wouldn’t be able to run until 2016 when she’d be 69. Again, Dick Morris wrote this, so you have to consider the source on this one. I’m of the belief that she thinks winning a flurry of contests at the end will allow her to make an effective argument to superdelegates that she’s more electable that Obama. While it’s an uphill battle, I don’t think she’s still in this race to simply sabotage the Democratic Party for 2008.

Rove Advises Obama

Former Bush strategist, Karl Rove offered unsolicited advice to Obama in the form of a Newsweek column. It’s tempting to dismiss Rove because he just might be 80% evil but he’s also a brilliant political strategist and his ideas are worth at least considering.

Let Obama Eat His Damn Waffle

The Republican Party has put up this press release to attack Obama on choosing to eat breakfast instead of answering a question about former President Jimmy Carter meeting with Hamas. He asked the reporter who was interrupting him while eating, “Why can’t I just eat my waffle?”

Hey, just leave him alone and let him his eat his waffle. It’s a scientific fact proven each day at Waffle House that the goodness of a waffle decreases proportionally as the time the waffle remains uneaten. For the RNC to pick up on this is absurd. I know, this is what politics has devolved into but does Obama have to be available to answer questions every second of every day?

McCain, Inmates and Great Deals

In Homewood, Alabama, Senator John McCain (R-AZ) reportedly got quite a deal when his campaign set up a fundraiser. He was given an 80% discount off the full price and inmates in the local jail were provided to set up tables and chairs. When a Democratic fundraiser was held last year (and the year before), they were charged the full rates.

Jim Croce v. Alergies

I was catching up on television I had missed being down in Savannah because I’m that combination of obsessive and retarded known as, uh…Obsessive Retarded. So I was watching Conan O’Brien with Tina Fey and a commercial came on for Zyrtec.

The pitchwoman opens the ad saying, “You know that song, ‘Time in a Bottle’? Well, I got time in a bottle…just by changing my allergy medicine from Claritin to Zyrtec. Zyrtec’s a lot faster.”

You hafta wonder whether they’re required to pay Jim Croce’s estate for the reference. I bet they didn’t. I think that song’s been played in a commercial before but I can’t remember the product. But the thing that really struck me about this was how random the reference was. I mean, if it’s faster than Claritin, then fine, say it’s faster but to name check a song from the early 70s…I don’t know.

But it got me to thinking, what other songs could be used this way, you know without playing the song but making a reference to it in the commercial.

“You know that song, Magic Carpet Ride? Well, at Carpets of Dalton, all our carpets are magic and we’re a short ride from Atlanta.”

“You know that song, You Can’t Always Get What You Want? Well, when you try Target, you just might find get what you need.”

“You know that song, With a Little Help From My Friends? Well, with Bulldog Movers, you won’t need any help from your friends.”

“You know that song, Highway to Hell? Well, with a new Lexus, even the drive to Hell will feel heavenly.”

“You know that song, Have You Ever Seen the Rain? Well, after getting Lasik, you’ll be able to see the rain. Each and every drop of it.”

Jesus’ Assassination Threat

A teenager told police that he wanted to die so that he could go to heaven and kill Jesus. God heard about the threats and now St. Peter and St. Paul have been assigned to protect Jesus for a time yet to be determined.

Cruise Returns to the Couch

Tom Cruise is scheduled to appear on Oprah’s show this Friday and the following Monday. The two dates are great because that will allow him to apologize on Monday for whatever strange thing he did on Friday. The first show will be taped at Cruise’s home in Colorado because his couches are already reinforced so that he can jump on them for hours at a time.

A Frosty with Your Roast Beef Sandwich

“Wendy’s, Arby’s parent will merge.” This is like when your dad is about to marry this new strange lady is smells like bacon and onions and you keep saying that you won’t talk so much if he doesn’t marry her because you don’t like bacon and onions. But he says that it’s best for everyone but you know it’s not best for everyone. And no matter how many times you chant ‘bacon and onions,’ ‘bacon and onions,’ ‘bacon and onions,’ it just doesn’t matter. Damn you, Wendy’s. Damn you indeed.

Side note, Dave Thomas’ daughter, Pam Thomas said that her late father “would not be amused” by the takeover. Of course, taking the company public opens up these kinds of sales and that was a decision Thomas had made…even if Pam thought it smelled like bacon and onions.

Cows Say: Eat Mor Peetsa

Truett Cathy, founder and CEO of Chick-fil-a, has opened a pizza restaurant in Fayetteville. I’m not sure how good the pizza would be but I’d be willing to give it a shot if I were ever in the area. When asked if he was going to step down as CEO of Chick-fil-a, he answered, “Why would I? I’m only 87.” And the cows have told him he’s going to live to be at least 149.

He did make one good point though in the article. Hot dogs really are kind of underappreciated, you know, in the way that you might appreciate something but not as much as you should appreciate that something, thereby not appreciating enough.

Barry McGuire Would Be Thrilled

A study shows that humans faced extinction 70,000 years ago, only to be saved when the California Condor added us to the endangered species list until we increased in number enough to then threaten their existence. I don’t know, these kinds of studies are released every now and then and it’s not very clear to me what data they’re looking at and it just leaves me kinda skeptical about the whole thing. Not that it matters but…

Important Headlines

Cindy Sheehan is running against Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) if she can collect almost 11,000 signatures by August 8th. The signatures must come from within the district, unlike the money she’s raised, the great bulk of $100,000 apparently coming from outside San Francisco.

The price of rice is increasing and according to this article, it’s possible that several governments could fall, especially if their country’s currency is actually rice.

Shirley Temple broke her arm last week, which is good and bad news for her. Obviously, breaking your arm sucks but I thought she was dead, so breaking her arm proves she’s alive. The 80 year old former child star should think of it that way. By breaking her arm, she proved to me that she’s still alive.

As has been allegedly long rumored, alleged actor Jimmy Fallon will allegedly be replacing Conan O’Brien when Conan allegedly takes over ‘The Tonight Show.’ The alleged Jimmy Fallon is allegedly 5 foot 11. Allegedly.

My Two Attempts to Pee

At the doctor’s office, I had to provide a urine sample and when the nurse gave me the cup, I asked, “Can we also check to make sure I’m not pregnant because I haven’t had my period in, like, forever?” She just stared blankly at me. I went into the bathroom and was given two minutes to pee. The door was unlocked and she would come in after me when those two minutes were up. I just kept staring at my watch, waiting for the door to open. I ended up not going at all. It was awful. I was given a three hour window to go again but a second failed attempt would count as a failed test. I wasn’t allowed to leave the building and had to drink water in a lobby filled with people making annoying noises. There was heavy sigher, lip smacker, business card flicker and loud baby. It was horrible.

I drank over a gallon of water and at one point, my hands started to shake and I felt like I was going to vomit. I was convinced that I was about to die of water poisoning. I was called back again, and ran through the same set of instructions as before. I had two minutes. Unlocked door. Wasn’t allowed to flush. I had to empty out my pockets and everything. I went back in the bathroom and…Again, I stared at my watch, waiting for the door to swing open. And then I started to pee and I was relieved. At the same time, I was embarrassed that it took two attempts. I gave the cup back to the nurse and said, “This pee’s for you,” you know like those old Bud commercials but I didn’t really sell the line and it didn’t get a laugh. Oh well…

What I Watched on Television

I watched Pardon the Interruption today, which didn’t win an Emmy. I wasn’t aware it was up for one but Tony seemed really upset about the whole thing and I feel bad for him. I bet those extended summer breaks and Dan LeBatard’s guest appearances hurt them. I’m taping the Braves’ game right now and will start watching that in just a second.

What I’m Listening to On My Mp3 Player

Arctic Monkeys’ ‘Mardy Bum’ off their first album. This is sometimes my favorite song from ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not’ but other times it’s not. Some people think that their most recent release, ‘My Favorite Worst Nightmare’ is a step back and maybe on some level it is but I was expecting a serious letdown and it while it wasn’t as good as their first effort, it was still pretty solid. They’re working off and on with their third album which is likely to come out in 2009.

Lead singer Alex Turner has been working with Miles Kane of the Rascals and the two released ‘The Age of the Understatement’ under the group name The Last Shadow Puppets. Their sound is more theatrical and overstated. I wasn’t hugely impressed with what I’ve heard from them. As for Kane, he played guitar on ‘505,’ the last song on the Arctic Monkeys’ last album, which is a great track.

Random Thoughts

Radio Free Europe was the victim of a cyberattack this past weekend. Where’s REM when you need them?

I find the new Reese’s ad campaign to be kinda disturbing. I’m looking at Peanut Butter cups in a way that probably isn’t 100% appropriate.

I don't think I'm ever going to drink water again. I tried to never pee again but after drinking over a gallon of water in less than an hour, I actually spent most of the afternoon doing just that.