What DID McCain Say?

Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) and Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) got into a heated exchange over the immigration compromise as it was coming together. McCain twice used words that most media outlets don’t repeat but I always find it interesting how they try to explain what word was used without saying it.

The Washington Post said the one word was “associated with chickens.” The other was described as a word Dick Cheney used in an encounter with Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-VT). I knew the latter was ‘fuck’ since I knew Cheney told Leahy, “Go fuck yourself.”

Quick side note: MSNBC described his use of the word to Leahy this way, “[He advised] Sen. Patrick Leahy to perform an anatomically impossible sex act.” I loved that line.

Anyway, I still couldn’t figure out what curse word would be associated with chickens. Not having grown up on a farm, I couldn’t help but feel I was at a distinct disadvantage in coming up with the answer. You see, when I think chicken, I think bastard. No reason.

Alright, so was it chicken shit? Because I wouldn’t say that that word is associated with chickens. It has chicken in the term. If he had called Cornyn a word associated with a dog, I’d assume he meant a bitch, not a dog fucker.

Was it cock? I thought that would be more associated with roosters but then I couldn’t remember if a chicken and a rooster were the same thing or not. Again, working on a farm would’ve helped here. I know that George Costanza’s dad on Seinfeld said there were chickens and hens and roosters had sex with both of them, so maybe a rooster is a chicken. I don’t know.

Anyway, after a thorough investigation, I found a couple sources not too chicken shit to confirm that McCain’s phrase was in fact chicken shit. So, there that is.

Another Movie I’ll Never See

I heard about this movie called ‘Once’ and it sounded like it would be good but then I heard the two dreaded words, ‘limited release,’ which is basically code for, ‘never coming to Atlanta.’ I checked the local theatres and sure enough, it isn’t to be found. And maybe it’ll come out a few weeks from now but by then, I’ll have already forgotten about it. The world sucks.

Pool Party

My apartment complex (which has experienced two shootings in the last two weeks) threw a pool party on Saturday. The admission price was two cans of soup.

Alright, let me get this straight. They wanted me to pay a fee for entry to something that is usually free. Uh, no.

‘But you’ll get to meet your fellow residents,’ the imaginary manager says.
‘What good is that? So I’ll know who it was that shot me as I’m dying?’ I reply.
‘Oh, those two people didn’t die. They just lost their cars.’
‘I’ve seen three people in the complex that looked like people I wouldn’t maybe mind possibly meeting and one's a Georgia Tech fan, so you know.’
‘But that’s only on one side of the complex. You don’t go on the other side very often.’
‘Right, because of the pit bull problem over there. Why do I even live here?’

Not that any of this matters because I don’t swim. Even so, I couldn’t miss a chance to complain.


One Last Note on NBC’s Schedule

After being left off NBC’s fall lineup, Donald Trump announced, “You can’t fire me, I quit.” I’ve done that before. If NBC was anything like my boss at the time, they probably said something like, “Good, get the fuck out. And take your Windex with you.”