Covering SF: Sunday April 12th: Piers of a Clown

And the recap of the trip to San Francisco continues with Sunday. I was disappointed that I’d been forced to cancel the trip to Chinatown and Pacific Heights (among other events) as a result of my knee hurting. Now the good news was that the swelling was at least down a bit and the discoloration was not quite as bad as it had been. But it was still hurting.

To Breakfast

My first event wasn’t until 9am so I didn’t bother setting the alarm. I went to Burger King, which was right near the start of the cable car route that goes straight to the Wharf. Fisherman’s Wharf is the most touristy part of San Francisco and most of the places I’d been weren’t filled with too many tourists.

On the Cable Car

The cable car I was on broke down and couldn’t get up one of the many hills in the city. It turned out that the gripman had released something to go down the hill faster and when he tried to reengage, the car had derailed from the track. So we were stuck until a truck could come out and fix everything. Even so, I still was at the Wharf an hour early.

Celebrating Easel in San Francisco

One concern I briefly had about the trip was that certain things wouldn’t be open on Sunday, being that it was Easter. But this was San Francisco and with the exception of the Cable Car Museum, everything was open that would normally be open on Sundays.

My mom sent me a text, “Do they celebrate Easter in Sodom.” I replied, They don’t have Easter in SF. I asked and they said, ‘For Art?’ And I said, ‘No, that’s an easel.” Mom responded, “Happy Easel to them.”

I meant to post on this site before I left a funny Easter clip but I didn’t because I forgot. Here’s the clip now, over a month late:



Playing Battleship

I was going to tour the Jeremiah O’Brien, which was a WWII battleship. The plan was to wander the deck mumbling, ‘You sunk my battleship’ over and over again.

The website advised allotting an hour and a half to tour the ship but I needed to be at my next event at 10:15. The battleship shared a pier with the USS Pampanito, a WWII submarine and I would’ve loved to have hit both back to back but due to time, I felt that was unrealistic.

The gate blocking the pier though didn’t open until 10 minutes after 9am. I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to get through the entire ship in time before I’d have to leave. Making things more difficult was that my knee started to really hurt and going up the ship’s steps made it hurt even worse.

I went to the engine room, which is where parts of ‘Titanic’ were shot but I couldn’t go all the way to the bottom because I was in too much pain. A little after 9:30, I decided to leave. I had seen the majority of the ship and I couldn’t stand to walk much more. The only part of the ship that I didn’t see was this room that apparently had a French diorama. I figured if it was French, it couldn’t’ve been that great.

On my way out, the ticket seller stopped me and said that I didn’t spend much time up in the ship. I explained that my knee was hurting and the narrow, metal steps was making it worse and I just needed to sit somewhere. He told me that he was sorry and that if I brought my ticket back later in the day, I wouldn’t have to pay again.

On a Submarine Without a Sandwich

As I began to walk toward where I’d seen a group of benches, I wondered whether I might be able to squeeze the Pampanito into the 40 minutes I had remaining. It would save me time walking from one pier to another if I could knock out both the submarine and the battleship back to back. So I decided to give it a try.

The booth for ticket sales was empty, so I went to the gift shop for the submarine. The girl there said that she didn’t sell tickets and that I would “need to go over there” as she pointed toward the empty booth. I explained that there was no one there and she replied, “I don’t know when they start selling tickets.”

This is the gift shop for the submarine. How can you not know when ticket sales start if you work there? It was like: We’re in no way affiliated with the Pampanito…now buy some submarine stuff. That was crazy to me. What was crazier was that I saw a couple people walking on the sub and they were clearly tourists. How did they get in there?

I sat on a bench and this guy walked past and asked if I wanted to go on the submarine. He told me that the guy that manned the booth hadn’t gotten there yet but if I put something in the donation box, he’d let me on. I put some money in the box and went on the self-guided tour.

What I was really struck by was how tight everything was. There wasn’t much room for one person to get around and I couldn’t imagine an entire crew working in a place like this. The ‘doors’ from one part to another weren’t like normal doors. You had to lift your leg up and squeeze through to the next part of the sub.

There wasn’t much to see though and I was able to get through the tour pretty quickly. When I got out, the guy had finally arrived at the ticket booth.

Halfway There: Living on a Pier

I wasn’t exactly sure where the pickup spot was for the movie tour. I walked up and down the Wharf looking for the spot but I couldn’t find the correct pier. I was supposed to go to Pier 43 and a half. The Pampanito was on Pier 45 and the next pier seemed to be number 41.

On the way to Pier 41, a guy yelled something at me in a foreign language. I figured he was a beggar and my general policy is to not make eye contact with people like that and certainly not to respond to them yelling at me.

When I realized that at Pier 41, I must’ve passed 43 ½, I turned around and had to pass by foreign man again and like before, he yelled at me in a foreign language but this time when I didn’t respond, he shouted, “Don’t ignore me!”

Look, here’s the thing, if you’re going to beg for something from me in my country, at least speak my language or don’t be surprised when I ignore you.

(Full disclosure: I would’ve ignored him if he’d yelled at me in English too)

And what if I’d been deaf? That guy didn’t know that I wasn’t deaf. But what was I supposed to do? Go back and engage this moron in some meaningful conversation? ‘Oh, I’m sorry. When you yelled at me in a foreign language, I didn’t understand what you were saying or that you were actually speaking to me as opposed to being on the phone or responding to one of the voices in your head. I hope you can forgive me, you dirty bastard.’

There were a lot of homeless people in San Francisco and there were a lot of beggars but let’s be clear, the two aren’t necessarily the same. The homeless people were scattered around and for the most part, left people alone. The beggars were primarily in the touristy areas, like the Wharf. Not all homeless people are beggars and certainly I don’t believe most beggars are homeless.

On the Movie Tour

I was able to find pier 43 ½ by 10:15, in time for the movie tour bus to arrive. Here’s the stunning part…the bus was virtually filled. I knew that they offered a couple pick up spots around the city but I figured most people would meet at the Wharf. Instead, I was one of three people (of about 20) at the bus’ final pickup spot. I was also able to take the last available window seat, though there were little star stickers on the outside of my window, partially blocking the view and making taking pictures even more difficult.

The bus tour was in many ways the best part of my trip out to San Francisco. I was able to get a good tour of the city on an air conditioned bus and we saw clips of movies that were shot in SF as we passed by where they were filmed. It was actually a lot of fun. There were several places along the way where we were able to get out and take pictures instead of always shooting inside the bus.

Most of my bus shots didn’t come out all that well but the outside pictures were pretty good. On the tour, I was able to see the Presidio, Grace Cathedral, Alta Plaza, Pacific Heights, Bank of Canton, Chinatown and several Victorian houses. It felt like that made up in some way for what I had to cancel the day before.

The halfway point of the tour was the Golden Gate Bridge. There was an extended break for 15 minutes and I had a choice between going to the bathroom (which I had to do pretty bad) or take more pictures of the Bridge. Guess which one I chose.

I was able to visit Fort Point (which I wasn’t able to do on Friday because of my knee) and shoot from almost directly under the bridge. At one point, in order to get a better angle, I stood up on the top of the Fort, wind whipping around and my knee hurting and I took pictures that came out decently good.

After about two hours on the tour, I did start getting a little antsy but I think a lot of that had to do with having to go to the bathroom. I was starting to actually feel sick to my stomach.

The tour went by LucasFilm, which didn’t allow visitors inside on the weekend. I took a couple pictures through windows that came out alright. There was a Yoda fountain that I still need to remember to send the picture of it to my brother.

Freaky Man’s Wharf

The tour dropped us off in the general area of Fisherman’s Wharf, though not at the exact pickup spot, so I was a little turned around. At the beginning of the tour, I saw a billboard for In & Out next to a Hooters. It seemed appropriate that it was like that.

I’d never been to In & Out, so I headed in that direction. The sidewalk was crazy crowded and extremely loud. I don’t do well in crowds and I hate getting bumped around by people.

I got to the restaurant but it was closed. And I mean closed like it might not be coming back. Ever. This meant I had to turn back around, retrace my steps toward the heart of the Wharf again.

I didn’t want to go to McDonalds again and while there was a Johnny Rockets, they take too long and I wanted something faster. I was doing good on time because I’d already knocked out the Pampanito earlier. I only had the Blue and Gold cruise and the Aquarium by the Bay left.

Along the way, there are street performers everywhere, like a carnival. Mimes. Dancers. Musicians. I mean, they’re all begging for money really but at least they’re doing something. When you see a street performer with a sign asking for money and then you see a guy just sitting on the curb doing nothing begging, it really points out his own laziness. At least be a mime. Anyone can do that. And it’s so much easier to ignore a mime. You know, because they’re quieter.

One guy I saw appeared to be wearing a bed sheet draped around himself but not like a toga. It was like he took a bed sheet, cut a hole for his head and wore it. At one point the wind blew and he was completely out there. And no, he wasn’t wearing underwear. One might ask, ‘Why’d you look down.’ To which I’d reply, ‘Because it popped out.’ It’s not like you couldn’t not look. Wind blows. Sheet moves. Mr. Johnson says hello. You try not looking.

I found a public bathroom but the line stretched for miles and it was at a glorified porta-potty (which I have a story about in a future entry). Another point that’s important to mention, and I might’ve written it in a previous segment of this series but most fast food restaurants in San Francisco reserve their bathrooms to customers only. There’s a key and you have to have eaten there to get the key. I feel that I’ve eaten at McDonald’s enough in my life to deserve a lifetime exemption into their bathrooms but SF franchises disagree.

I ate at Boudin’s, the outdoor version, which meant a shorter line but no bathroom. I had a hamburger and these organic potato chips that tasted funny. Not bad but just odd.

To the Famous Pier 39

I went to the Blue & Gold Cruise but I missed the boat for the next tour. It was just as well though because I really needed to go to the bathroom and I was betting the Aquarium had a good one to use.

Both the cruise and Aquarium were off pier 39, which is the epicenter of the Wharf. That’s where it’s the most crowded, loudest and filled with the typical tourist ripoff attractions. One thing that I was sorta looking forward to were the sea lions.

I don’t know what I was expecting. It turned out that it was just a bunch of sea lions lying around. It wasn’t very exciting. I took a couple pictures of them but there weren’t doing anything and they smelled terrible.

At the Aquarium by the Bay

I could see the bathroom when I entered the Aquarium but it was blocked from getting to it. I’d have to go through the entire series of exhibits before I could get to the bathroom.

Maybe I’m spoiled because the last three aquariums I’ve been to have been ones in Atlanta, Chattanooga and Baltimore (though I feel like there was one more somewhere). The three that I clearly remember were impressive. This one wasn’t. There were a handful of fish in tanks, the obligatory Nemo exhibit all aquariums have since the movie ‘Finding Nemo’ came out.

One of my favorite pictures I took was from the aquarium. I’m fascinated with jellyfish. They don’t look like anything else really. They’re completely bizarre and I love taking pictures of them. The problem is that it’s dark so the camera wants to use the flash. Of course, the flash would bounce off the glass, ruining the picture. Shooting without the flash could cause blurring and I don’t have a tripod. So I tried to keep my hands as steady as possible and ended up getting a couple really good shots of the jellyfish without any blur. I was really excited about those photographs.

The biggest attraction is also the biggest letdown. It’s called ‘Under the SF Bay.’ Basically, you walk in this tunnel where you’re surrounded by water to your left, right and above your head. The Atlanta Aquarium has this too but since this one’s called ‘Under the SF Bay,’ I kinda figured that I was under the SF Bay. Uh, no. I wasn’t under the Bay at all. As small writing revealed on this one sign, the fish in the exhibit are like fish that could be found within the Bay but I wasn’t actually underneath the Bay.

Perhaps they should’ve called it, ‘Fish from the SF Bay’ and avoided the potential confusion. Not that the biggest issue was the name issue. I was really feeling sick to my stomach and I just wanted to get through as quickly as I could so I could get to the gift shop’s bathroom.

I sped through the tunnel and the exhibit where you could pet a sting ray. I was able to get to the bathroom after 3+ hours of holding it in.

Under the Bridge

I went to the entrance for the Blue and Gold Cruise, my last event of the day and I knew, more than likely, the last of my trip. The big feature of this tour was that it went directly under the Golden Gate Bridge and allowed me to get pictures from the other side of the Bridge.

The boat featured this crazy narration that reminded me of those little puppet features at Six Flags. The voices talked in a crazy Old West accents and it was really strange. The narrator would tell stories but you could only understand a little bit of what was being said because the speakers weren’t the best in the world.

I stood on the front of the boat and it was extremely windy. I was leaning against a rail, holding the camera tight with both hands because I was scared I’d drop it into the water. I didn’t feel very secure on the boat but rather than move into a safer position, I stayed where I was because I thought the pictures would turn out better.

I got a few good pictures from the tour but nothing as great as I was imagining when I signed up for it.

I could tell that I was getting sunburned, so I went inside for the rest of the tour, since all we were going to do next was circle Alcatraz, and I had more than enough pictures of that.

Back to the Hotel

I took the Historic F Streetcar back to the hotel. On the ride back, this German guy was marveling at how amazing San Francisco was. He was saying that it was so much more advanced than the rest of the world. I don’t know about that but they certainly had a lot of Walgreens.

I stopped at the closest Walgreens to my hotel to pick up some more Gatorade and then I went to Mel’s Diner for a slice of cherry pie. The pie itself was good but the service was fairly poor and they didn’t seem quite as cheerful as the previous two times.

It was around 5pm and I really wanted to go to a movie but the theater that was nearest to me wasn’t playing anything I wanted to see. And the theater that was playing ‘Observe and Report,’ was located somewhere along Market Street but I never could figure out where.

I ended up just going back to the hotel and hanging out and icing my knee. I had walked 3.7 miles over the course of the day bringing the total for the trip up to 26.7 miles.

And that was how I spent my Easter. The next day, walking was going to be kept to a minimum as I packed up and flew back home on Monday.

Upcoming Entries

In the next entry, I’ll go through Monday and provide some final thoughts about the trip. I also still need to put out my best and worst movies of 2008, which I keep forgetting to do. And of course the story of my first (and quite possibly) last NASCAR race.

Final Thoughts

A Seattle Bar is putting on a ‘Hot for Teacher’ night hosted by Mary Kay Letourneau, a teacher who made news several years ago after engaging in a sexual relationship with a 12 year old student she would later marry. The bar’s owner said it’s supposed to be in fun but just a thought: If it was a male teacher and a female student, would they be having the same type of an event?

Natalie Cole was given a kidney by one of her fans who had died. Good news: Natalie Cole has a new kidney. Bad news: Her one fan has died.

This article talks about ‘classic’ groups that are teaming up to go on tours and put out singles. Bands like REO Speedwagon and Styx joining forces isn’t that much unlike Italy joining forces with Germany. The Axis of Shit. They’re on a tour called, Can't Stop Rockin'. Of course they can’t stop…they never started.

Headline on CNN.com: Man sucker-punches blind woman on bus. But I mean, you can hardly blame the guy. She was sitting in her seat being all blind and all. How was he supposed to resist? Are you telling me that you wouldn’t’ve punched her too?

The last time I considered buying the PX90 system (which some people insist on telling me is actually the P90X as if where the X goes matters to me) was during Spring Training because Matt Diaz used it and he’s completely awesome. If I’d started back then, I’d be two thirds of the way through the program with two thirds of the results, which would mean I’d have two thirds of a six pack...a four pack!